The Sauk Centre Herald (Sauk Centre, Minnesota), 1867-06-20

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VOLUME I.
SAUK CENTRE, MINNESOTA, THURSDAY, JUNE 20, 1867.
NUMBER 3.
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PUBLISHED   EVERY   THURSDAY   MORNING,
A.t   Saul* Centre,   Minn.,
BY J. H. SIMONTON,
*S- Office on Third street, one dogr east of
4he "Farmer'sand Traveler's Home."
Subscription;  -
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR   IN  ADVANCE.
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Legal advertisements'T&cests per square tor
iflte first insertion, and 37^ I cents per square
'for eaeh subsequent Insertion.
Special place advertisements Inserted at
rates agreed upon.
, Yearly advertisers to pay quarterly.
Strangers musfcpay in advance, orstve satisfactory reference.
-JOB PRINTING
of all kinds executed on short notlee in the
best style.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
MtVJJ.
HABIT.
BY JOHN ASKHAM.
that
Habit at first is but a silken thread,
Fine as the light-winged  gossamers
sway
In the warm sunbeams of a summer's day;
A shallow streamlet, rippling o'er its bed;
A tiny sapling, ere its roots are~spread; ^
A yet unhardened thorn upon the spray:
A lion's whelp that hath not scented prey;
A little smiling child' obedient led.
Beware! that thread may bind thee as a
chain;
That streamlet gather to a fatal sea;
That sapling spread into a gnarled tree-;
That thorn, grown hard, may wound and
give the pain:
That playful whelp iris"- murderous fangs
reveal; J?
THat child, a"* giant,  crush .thee 'neathhis
heel.
•|pwtktttj.
curing a cold.
N.
h. miner;
Attorney and Counselor at   Law,   Notary
Public andrGonveyancer,  .
•Sauk Centre,        -        -        Minnesota.
Office over the Post Office.
jR. B. R. PALMER,
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
«S» Residence near the Mill, Sauk Centre. =S»
ILLIAM J. PARSONS,
A TTORNEY A T LA W,
"Slatnt Germaine street, over Burbank Bros
.St. Cloud, Minnesota.
R. P. EDSON,
•Attorney at Law and
Notary Public.   -
Jkr.
CHAS. WALKER,
Attorney at Law.
Edson «& Walker,
*''• feEAL. ESTATE AGENTS,
Office over Philadelphia Store on Third street,
Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minnesota.
Business Property, Houses and Lots, Farms,
Farming Lands, etc., etc., bought and sold on
eomm&sion.
ATTENTION! I
is'called to thefaet that'our facilities'for making" out Pre-emption papers and for locating-i
I -and entering Government Land with Cash,
. Scrip or Land "Warrants, are unsurpassed by
■SHv office west of St. Cloud. A large assortment of Town Plots for the use of seekers of
Claims onSfand and kept constantly corrected by correspondence with the Land Office.-
We have in our hands for sale some of the
finest Farms and -Farming Lands in this
upper countiy. ,	
.-1   BUSINESS   CARDg.
H. MINER,
Insnrance A-ginxt,
Sauk Centre, - -*        Minnesota.
Represents the" soundest and most -reliable
'Fire Life and 'Accident- Insurance Companies of she' Eastern and Western.
States,   Office ove
the Post Office.
J. WHITEFIELD,;
jitvtxse & Sis'11- I»»in£er»
«raining,!Glazing, Paper Hanging, &c, done
with neatness and on reasonable terms.
Work warranted equal in quality to that
•agreed updnjqr no charges made. MS- Paint
Shop next door to Thomas & Go's.
TSante Centre, Minn., June5,1867.
OHN CHR1STGAU,
Boot &> Shoe MCalter,
Main Street, Sauk Centre, Minn.,
A complete stock of Boots and Shoes kept
constantly on hand, and made to order on
short notice.   Good fits warranted.
Repairing promptly .done, at reasonable
prices.
Bale.
Mark   Twain's   Experience   with. Volunteered Prescriptions.
against warm salt water.    It may be a j who, for reasons best known to herself, j
■&Jy, but I think it is don't see you when she looks at you,
A   STRANGE   STORY.
All kinds of-.Bkoemaker'sffools for
P. EDSON    - !j*£;
Is Agent for sound and reliable
FIRE,  LIFE,   ACCIDENTAL    LIFE  AND
LIVE STOCK INSURANE COMPANIES..
He insures Live  Stock against Death and
"'Theft, in the Hartford Live Stock Insurance
Company—the soundest and only reliable
jUve Sitook Company on this continent.
ODWARD DREBLOW,
Cabinet Maker,
Sauk Centre,        -        -        Minnesota.
Keeps constantly on hand a complete stock
of Furniture, Coffins, &c.
All orders will receive prompt attention.
LAND OFFICE & REAL ESTATE
AGENCY. IjM
IS. H. Miner,
Lands sold on commission. Farms composed of Prairie, Meadow and Timber Land
for sale.
Persons desiring to enter Land, with Cash,
Scri p or LanaWarrants^or file Homestead
or Pre-emption Claims,. cStn do so - at
my office and avoid the time and
expense of a trip to St. Cloud.
Office over the Post Office, Sauk Centre,
Minnesota.
B
ILLIARD SALOON,
A. DE GROAT, Proprietor.
Third street, Sauk Centre, Minnesota.
Has fijsst Class Phelan & Collender Billard-
Tables.
Choice, Wines, Liquors, Ale, Porter ah» Clr
gars.
s
ALOON AND BAKERY.
0. M. R'ENNOE, Proprietor.
Main Street; Bbwh- Centre,   Minnesota;
Bread, Cakes, Pie^, Ac, always on hand. Hot
Coffee and M§»rs at all hours.   Good
'   Wines and Liquors and the best ■
ajg> .brands of Cigars.
Mr. Mark TwSifcigwes his .experience
in curing his cold in so ' quaint iBjSl
unique a style, that we copy it in full
for the benefit of our readers*. ■
It is a good thing, perhaps, to write
for the amusement of the public, but it
is a far higher and noblej. thing to
write for their instruction, their profit,
their actual and tangible benefit: The
latter is the sole object of this article.
If it prove the means of restoring to
lie&alth one solitary signer- among m$?j
race, oftfglmng up once more" the fire'1
of hope and joy in his* folded eyes, of
bringing back to his dead heart agailrij,
the quick, generous impulses of other
days, I shall be amply rewarded for my
tabor ; my soul will-be permeated tMiiSn*
the "saSriSBFTlQfgfit a Otaristiaa feels'
when   he   has   done a good, unselfish
deed.
f Saving-led a pure and blameless life,
I amjustmed in believing that no man
who knows - me will ..reject the suggestions I am about to make, out of fear
that I am trying to deceive him. - Let
the public do itself the honor to read
my'experience in doctoring, a" cold, as
herein set forth and ^en followiii ssyi
footsteps.
When the White House was burned,
in Virginia, Idost my home, my happi-.
ness, my constitution and my trunk.
The loss-of the two first named articles
was aTnatter of no great consequence,
since a home without a mother or sister, or a distant, young female relative
4in it, to remind you, by putting your
soiled linen out of sight and taking
your boots down off the mantle-piece,
that there are' those whe^fehink about
you and care %r you, is easily obtained.
And I cared nothing for the loss qf my
happiness, because not being a poet, it
could not be possible that melancholy
would abide with me long.
Bnt to lose a good constitution and a
better teink were serious misfortunes.
On the- day of the fire my constitution-succumbed to a severe cold caused
by undue exertion in gelling ready to
db something. I suffered to no purpose, too, because the plan I was figuv
ing at for the extinguishing of the fire
was so elaborate, that I never got it
completed until the middle of the following week.
" The first time I began to sneeze, a
friend told me to go home and bathe
my feet in hot water and go- to bed. I
did so. Shortly afterward, another
friend advised me to get up and take a
cold shower bath. I did that also.
Within the hour another friend assured
me that it was policy to "feed a coldand
starve a fever."' I had both. So I
thought it best to fill myself up for a
cold, and then keep dark and let the
fever starve awhile.
In a case of this kind I seldom go by
halves; I ater pretty heartily; I conferred my custom upaa a stranger who
had   just    opened     his     restsBurant
that morning; he waited near *nein
respectful silence until I had-finished
feeding my cold, when he inquired if
the people about Virginia were much
.afflicted   with   colds?    I told   him I
thought they were.   He then went out
and took in his sign.   I started down
toward the office, and on the way encountered another bosom friend, who
told me that a quart of salt water, taken
warm, would  come' as   near curing a
cold as anything in the world.   I hardly thought I had room for it, but I tried
it anyhow.   Ths. result was surprising.
I believe I threw up my immortal soul.
Now, as I am giving my experience
only for the benefit of those  who are
troubled   with   the   distemper   I   am
writing about, I feel that they will see
the propriety of  my cautioning them
against following such portions of it as
proved inefficient with me, and acting
upon   this   conviction,,  I warn them
good enough" remedy
too severe. If I had another cold in my
head, and there were ritfcbuTSe Mffifie"
but to take either an earthquake or a
quart of warm salt* water, I woiiHl take
my chances on the earthquake.
After the storm which had been raging in my stomach had subsided, and
no more good Samaritans happening
along, I went on borrowing handkelS
chiefs again and blowing them to atoms,
as had been, my custom in the early
stages of my cold, until I came across,»
lady who had just arrived from over
the plains, and who said she had lived
in a part of the country where doctors
were scarce, and had from necessity
acquired considerable skill in the
treatment of simple " family complaints." I knew she must have had
i^iuQh experience, for she appeared to
be a hundred and fifty years old.
She mixed a decoction composed of
molasses, aqua fortis, turpentine and
various other drugs,, a$d instrueted me
'tJ6j J^Jsgrt«wine -glass full.ot ^t jsvery fif-
fifeeajaainiUtes. I took'but one dose;
mat, yeas enough; it robbed jme of ,all
moral principle, and awoke every unworthy impulse of my nature. Under
its malign infi.uenca_.Jny brain con-
(jeijgasd miracles of meanness, but my
hands were too feebleto execute them.;
[atthaiiiiLme.f,£had it not been that my
strength had surrendered to a succession,' .ofyassjiui-ts from infallible remedies for.my coW^-»ifln'gatisfied that I
Hat&d hawe.tfifed.tba'Q-J) the grave yaB<|.
' ffi-ft_B m®£ aihBx>!pe<ffigtdl sftgn feel
mean ^tfac^t-teo'I-^gly j'1wteB»til,I.
took that-n^dieln.efl'hadjaseyer-reyelled.
ipSfifia fopernaturar&erira'ritya-id felt
proud of it. At the end of two days I
waffeady to go to doctoring' again;. 'I
took a few more unfailing remedies,
and finally drove my cold from my
head into my lungs.       v ■ ,
I got to coughing incessantly, and
my voice fell below zero ; I conversed"
ijn-a_thundering bass, two octaves below my natural" tone ; I could ' only
compass my regular nightly repose by
coughing myself: down to a state of utter, exhaustion, and then the moment
I begun to talk in j my . sleep, my discordant voice woke me up again.
My case .grew more and more serious
every day. . Plain gin was recommended; T took it. Then gin and molasses;
I took that also. Then gin and onions;
I added the onions and took all three.
I detected no particulay. result, however,^, except that I had acquired a
breath like,a buzzard's.  .
| .-jsfound Miad to trasrel for my health.
I went to Lake Bigler with my>*«porto-
rial companion; Wilson. It is gratifying to me to i-ecollect that we' traveled
in considerable styl'e1^ :we wen* in the
Pioneer coach,and my friend took all
his'baggage with him, consisting of two
excellent silk handkerchiefs and a da-1
gtrerreotype of his grandmother. We
sailed and hunted and fished and
danced all day, "and I doctored- my
cough at night. By managing in this
way I made out to improve every hour
in the twenty-four. But my disease
-continued to grow worse.
A sheet batli was recommended. I
had never refused a remedy yet, and it
seemed" poor policy to' commence then;
therefore, I determined to take a sheet
bathj notwithstanding I had" no idea
what sort of an arrarfgerhent it was.'
It was administered art midnight, and
the weather was very frosty. My breast
and back' were bared, and a sheet
(there appeared to be a thouasnd yards
of it) soaked in ice water was; wound
round me until f resembled a swab for
a Oolumbiad.
• It is a cruel expedient. When the
chilly rag touches one's warm flesh it
makes him start with sudden violence
and gasp for- breath jusfras men do in
the death agony, li froze the marrow
in my bones .and stopped the beating
ot my-heart. I thought my. time had
come.
Young Wilson said the circumstance
reminded him of an anecdote about a
negrd who was being baptised, and
who sljppedtfijom the parson's grasp,
and. came near being drowned.. He
floundered around, though, and finally
rose up out of the water considerably
strangled and furiously angry, and
started ashore at ence, spouting water
lfke a whale, and remarking, with:
great asperity, that " one o' these days
sonie gen'lman's nigger gwyne to git
killed*wid jest such dam foolishness as
dis!"
Never  take  a  sehet   bath—never,
Next to meeting a lady acquaintance,
and don't know you when she does see
you, it is the most nncomfcrtable thing
in the world.
But, as I was saying, when the sheet
bath failed to cure my cough, a lady
friend recommended the apjulcation of
of a mustard plaster to my breast. I
believe that would' have cuVed me
effectually, if it had not been for young
"Wilson. When I went to bed. I put
my mustard- plaster—which was a very
gorgeous one, eighteen inches square^
ashore i;. could reach it" when I" was
tead'y kt it. But young Wilson got
hungry in the night and ate it up. I
never sitw anybody have such an appetite ;' -I am cofident that lunatic would
have eaten me up if I had been
healthy.
After sojourning a week at Lake Bigler, I wentto Steambeat Springs, and,
beside the steam' "baths, I took a lot of
the vilest medicines that were ever concocted. They would have ' cured me,
but I had to go backtoj^irginia, where,
notwithstanding the variety of hew
remedial absorbed every day, I managed to aggravate my disease by care*
lessnessand undue exposjirei
I finalycDj-oladed."t»T'4't'San Francisco, and the first day I got there a
lady at the ^Lick House told me to
drink asquapfc of whisky everj; twenty-
four haursy aaid a lrjertd at the Occidental recommended precisely the
same course. Each advised me to take,
a quart; that made "half a gallon. I
did it, and still live.
Now, with the kindest motives • in
the world, I offer for the consideration-
of consumptive patients the v-aHegEat'ed
course of treatment I" %ave lately" gone
through. Let them try it; if'it don't
cure them, it tean't more than 'kill
them,
A- WIPE ' THAT -CHOWS.
From-the Kichmond (Va.) Examiner.
There is in this city a young married
woman who is very strongly., afflicted
with a mania for imitating the crowing'
of the morning cock, while in, a state,
of somnolence.   We arQ assured that
at the houT  appointed by nature for
chanticleer to frighten away the midnight  prowlers < -from yawning graveyards, . the. fortunate husband of the
" crowing wife,'' on the first night of
his marriage,   was   aroused from-his
slumbers .by a' most lusty crowing.   On
opening his eyes what 'was Ms astonishment to behold*his better-half seated
in the middle of the connubial coach
of conjugal, bliss, flapping her wings
and orowing in a loud and clear voice,
stretphing out her -neck after the most
approved rooster fashion !   Thrice' did
sheihus "heral<$r:in the* aaorn," and
then sank back and «lept on.   In the
morning he spok« to "her about it, and
was not> more surprised than amused
to learn that she had been bom in the
country, and that a favorite" Shanghi,"
which Boosted With Jfctia feathered family io the hen-coop near the window of
the maternal bed-ehamber, frightened
her mother by: his loud crowing, and
thus the child was '• marked."   And
ever sinceshe has- been wont to wake
the echoes of the coming dawn by imitating  " ye* rooster," and  still,   ejieh
morn she "flaps her wings and crows."
As the business of the husband requires him to rise very early, he is-rath-
er pleased than otherwise to -find  his
wife possessed of this additional aceom
Froth the Cleveland Herald.
We met a gentleman to-day seekfntf
his wife, who, it seems, was in tbj^
.place wheii last heard from, having
come here, from .an "Eastern city. There
is a strange story connected therewith,
which the gentleman hasao objection
to our giving here,
. Eight  years   ago    this   gentleman,
whom we shall call Mr. George ,
left his young wife7 with .Jus mother,
then residing in the city of D , and
started overland to California. While!
upon this-journey the party of which
he was a: member was attacked by Indians, and he was carried into captivity. He escaped from them about a,
yeartifterwards and reached San Francisco in safety. During his stay among
the. Indians he made considerable
money, trading and otherwise, and upon reaching San Francisco determined
to go home, taking passage in a steamer for that purpose. Thfee*''days out
the steamer was burned; and he among
a few others were saved by the efforts
of a boat's crew belonging to a sailing
vessel bound for San FraneisWfi Having lost his money in this disaster, he
sailed for Australia, which point. he-
reached in a- very-destitute condition.'1
He was taken sick, - and. remained in
the hands of the physician fof many1
months. When able to travel he started for home, and when within five days
from New York/ the vessel was overtaken and captured ' by a rebel privateer and taken into a Southern; port-
He was conscripted into the rebel army and forced to the front. He was
made a hospital steward, which gave
him a good opportunity to aid the
"Boys in blue.'' and• saved him from
taking a seeming part with the rebels.
When the war was over lie came North
and at once sought his home. The old
house was deserted. Sadly he turned
to an. old neighbor for explanation-, j
This friend, who could hardly believe
the story, told him that about three
[months after he started for California
a letter reached them from a member
iof the out-going party informing the
young wife that George had been killed
by the Indians. She had mourned for
him a long time, and then a friend of
her husband had married her, and together with" the aged mother had gone
West, and he is now seeking them.   .
Music *.i Home,—Every woman who
has an appetitofor music or -singing,
should bless god for the gift, and cultivate, it with diligence—not that she
may dazzle strangers, or win applause
from a crowd, but that-she may bring
gladness to her own fireside. The influence of music in strengthening the
affections is far from, being perceived
by many of its admirers; a sweet melody binds all hearts together, as it were
with- a golden- cord; it makes the
yulses-beat in. unison,- and the heart
thrill with sympathy. But tb$. music
of the'fireside must be simple and unpretending •,. it does not reqsire brilliancy of execution,, but tenderfiess Of
feeling—a. merry tune.for the.young—a
more subdued .strain for the aged, but
none of the noisy claptrap which is so
popular in public It is a mistake to
suppose that, to enjoy music requires'
great cultivation. The degree of enjoyment will, of course, vary 'with our
power of appreciation; but, like all
other great influences, it is able to attack even the ignorant. And this is
what the poets, taught when they made
A Practical Essay on Umbrellas.-?-
How to Keep. Them.—A late writer
gives the following valuable .lecipa^for
protection against umbrella thieves,
which is worthy the attention of all: - -
"At least a hundred   thieves, have
stolen a hundred umbrellas, from nie,'
invariably on rainy days, until I bought
a blue, cotton one, which, when opened,
looked, very   much   as a. blue ostrich ;
might when in a state of rapid locomotion.   There wes a man in the days of
Noah   who informed, that   eceealhi'
navigator that he might go along-with
his old ark—it .wasn't going tobe.-much
of a shower;- and  showed Jijm a_bltie
cotton umbrella.   I have that, umgrelv
la.   1 am,"confident   it  will, never.Be
stolen.   I have left it in church,md
the sexton turned his nose up at St„?F
have taken it to Woman's Bights Conventions and left, it deliberately, among•"
the female reformers, always to have it
returned to me.   On   one   occasion a.'-
weaker vessel in spectacles and short
|hair used it in her speech-as a matter
of emphasis, and broke the stick in her
endeavor tp   get  her ■ rights, but she-1
didn't steal it.    x have  known' men to'
Wteal old oyster cans,  and buttons out ■
of-a contribution   box,' who   wouldn't1 |
touch that umbrella.   Lhave ho doubt
I shall carry that blue e'ettoh umbrella
all my. life, and that" Peregrines after
mewill .carry it arid encourage ~vifVk$-."r-
plishment, which dispenses with the I Orpheus and his brethren the civilizers
necessity for' ah   alarm- clock, though  of the earth.
haying heard his grandmother say that
the " crowing of a hen indicated ill-
luck, unless her head were immediately c«t off," he is in some doubt whether, in order to insure good fortune to
his'household, he is not in duty bound
to stop his wife's crowing by severing-
her musical throa*. We adiylse him to
let his " hen " crow «n, so long as she
does not " peck 8 h,im.
Some persons may question the truth
ofthis remarkable incident, but we
em-assure such that it is true in every
particular, and can be vouched for by
responsible .parties who have- known
the lady from infancy ; and the moral
af it is, that ladies who do not desire
" crowing children," should not sleep
too near the'hen coop.
As the afternoon way tram was coming from Baltimore, recently, the conductor, calling out the names of stations,, shouted, in _explQsive tones,
" Jessup's Cut." " Was he hurt much,"
inquired a. demure passenger, wherup-
on there was a general laugh.
Arithmetic .jfob the Million,-^»H
twenty grains make a scruple, how
many scruples make a doubt ? -;'•;»
If seven days make one week, how,
many will make ope strong ?
If three miles make a league, how
many will make a confederacy ?
If five and a half yards make a pole,
how many will make a-lurk ?
If three feet make a yard, how many
will make a garden ?
 A poor boy; who -a few days since
stepped into'a law office in Nashville
tod-begged for & dollar, saying his
father was sickin. Chattanooga, and he
wished to buy newspapers- and try and
make enough to bear his mother's expenses to him, afterward returned and
said he had made fifteen dollars, and
had one dollar -left, which he wished
to return to the gentleman who had
loaned that amount to him.
—Candor irfefecpe people may be
compared to;b>ihon drops, in which the
acid nredbrmnates oyer the sweetness.
Rather    Romantic-—A New York
correspondent writes :    A" remarkable ...
instance of faithful love has occurred -
in a prominent family residing on Fifth i -
avenue.'   Some years -since the youthful daughter (only fourteen) was courted in childish fashion by a gentleman
of seventeen."   The parents heard what
was going oS,; arrived  at  the church-
just as' the ceremony   was  concluded;   '
and carried off severally the bride and
bridegroom.   The  latter  wag sent .to
school ;-the former locked- up m- her
room, and soon taken to Paris." .Here
she remained with her mother till she.
was eighteen, when she was"introduced.'
into society.    Her beauty and fortune^^"   j
attracted many visitors, but she repelled, all   their .advances.   She. had, at
[long intervals, kept up a correspondence with the youthful husband from' .
whom she had been separated; and not  '
long since, when she landed in New
York, the first   person   on   whom her
eyes, lighted  was   the Benedict aforesaid, grown more-manly and handsome,
and eager to embrace his  wife. . The
parents   no   longer   opposed their reunion. ~\ _^.„
 -,    ■' - ' - : •' 0H»
Go to Work.;—Let me commend to  "
some of our brethren a child's version -
of a sermon- delivered in Chicago last
Sunday.      The  preacher  urged that-
Chrlstians ' should be active to Christi
" They should serve*-Him",   not "with'- '•
breath alone, "but with the hands and
the feet."   One of the audience.', .le'atE
ing home his little' boy of six or"se'yern - •
years,' asked him if he tinderstobd'ariy^ .
thin'g-in the. sermon. ySiJ»
" O, yes 1 I hear   preaching   now-a-
"-Well, what did you hear this .morn?;.
ing?" ~&k B££
" The minister said we should stop
blowing and go to wwk^f-CftristiaA
Banrier.
More force and point'* can often bfe
got into a "slang" phrase or word-thlM* ■!
can be conveyed by any of the mote
elegant forms of" expression. Orator's
and writers of wit and judgment often
select from the patois of children and
peasants the rough, bolt that:will best,
hit their mark. It is the stone from
the brook that killed G-oiiaih'. "Stop
blowing and go to work,"- contains the
gist of a sermon.
An employed-at the Jefferson'City
penitentiary, the other day, made a
wager that he cputoT carry a stone wu>.
dowsill, weighing over two hundred
pounds, to .tn"e City Hotel, a half mile"
distant. He won his $10. The'same
chap, adds the Times,., once swam thtf
Missouri at Jefferson in order..to"get'»
drink of water on the other side.
A minister once prayed in the pulpw
ahat " the Lord would bless ■ the ems.
gregation assembled, and that portion
of it which was Bn. its way to Ctaji-icb^
and those who were at hpme getting
ready to come, and shat, in His' ijjfini.ta
patience, he would gfant the benedu*
tien to those who reached the house of
God just in time for that." The congregation came on time after that.
—The devil steals ""into m^eSeiSlfc:
through "the'decanter than any" other |
channel;