The Sauk Centre Herald (Sauk Centre, Minnesota), 1867-07-25

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SAUK CENTRE, MINNESOTA, THURSDAY, JULY 25, 1867.
NUMBER 8.
I&kt £mk 4M?e- §wr*li
PUBLISHED   EVEKY   THURSDAY   JtORNtNG,
At   Sank Centre,   Minn.,
BY J. H. SIMONTON.
O- Office on Third street, one door east of
the " Farmer'sjmd Traveler's Home."
Subscription:
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR IN ADVANCE.
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the first insertion, and 37U cents per square
for each subsequent insertion.
Special place advertisements' inserted at
rates agreed upon.
Yearly advertisers to pay quarterly.
Strangers must pay In advance, or give satisfactory reference.
JOB PRINTING
of all kinds executed on short notice in the
best style.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
X. K. .StIKEE. H. WBKN.
2$£iner &, Wren,
Attorneys and Counselors at Law, Notaries
Public and Conveyancers,
Special attention given to proceedings in
Bankruptcy in the united States Courts.
Situk Centre,        -        -        Minnesota.
Office over the Post Office.
T|R. B. R. PALMER,
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON.
<mf Residence near the Mill, Sauk Centre. -ffi»
Tn^TILLIAM J. PARSONS,
ATTORNEY AT LA W,
Saint Germalne street, over Burbank Bros.,
>St.Gi«B^i, Minnesota.
CHAS. WALKER,
Attorney at Law.
R. P. EDSON,
Attorney at Law and
.Notary Public.
E«lson &< Walker,
REAL ESTATE AGENTS,
'Offix* over Philadelphia Store on Third street,
Sank Centre, Steams County; Minnesota.
Business Property, Houses and Lots, Farms,
Fanning Lands, etc., otc, bought ahd sold on
•oezBttugsloh.
ATTENTION!
is called to the fact that our facilities for ma-
king out Pre-emption papers and forjocating
and entering <jK>vernuieiat Land with -Oasn,
Scrip or Land Warrants, ana unsurpassed by
any office west of St. Cloud. Aia-rge assort-:
ment of Town Plots for tne use of Seekers ot
Claims on hand and kept constantly eorrect-
•cd by correspondence with the land Offiofej
, Wb have in our hands for sale some of the1
finest Farms and Farming Lands'- in this
upper oountjy.   i
BUSINESS   CARDS.
E
DWARD DREBLOW,
Cabinet Maker,
Main street, Sauk Centre, Minnesota.
Keeps constantly on hand a complete stock
of Furniture, Coffins, &c.
All orders will receive prompt attention.
B
ILLIARD SALOON,
A. DE GROAT, Proprietor.
Third street, Sauk Centre, Minnesota.
Has first class Phelan * Cullender Billardi
Tables.   .
Choice Wines, Liquors, Ale, Porter and Cigars. '
QALOON AND BAKERY.
O. M. RENMGE, Proprietor.
Main Street,  Sauk  Centre,   Minnesota..
Bread, Cakes, Pies, Ac, always on hand. Hot
jCoffee_a*id Meals at all hours.   Good
Wines and Liquors and the best
brands of Cigars.
foetry.
N.
H. MINER,
iHsurance Agent,    -
Sauk Centre, - - Minnesota.
Represents the soundest and most reliable:
Fire, Life ana Accident Insurance Com-   •
panies of the Eastern and  Western "•
States.   Office over the Post Office.  "
■*KT   J. WHITEFIELD,
Konse &. Sig-Ji Painter,
Graining, Glazing, Paper Hanging, .(fee, done
with neatness and on reasonable terms.
Work warranted equal in quality to that
agreed upon or no charges made. *s- Paint
Shop next door to Thomas A Go's.  ,
Sauk Centre, Minn., June 5,1867.
"WHOM FXRST?   WE LOVE.
UY JULIA. WASH HOWE.
Whom first we love, you know, we seldom
wed:
Time rules all; and life, indeed, is' not
The thing, we planned out-ere hope was dead ;
And then we women cannot choose our lot.
Much must be borne which is hard to bear—
. jiuch given away which it were sweet to;
. keep.
God help jib all! who need indeed his oare^
And yet I know the Shepherd loves His
sheep.
My little boy begins to babble now
Upon rny knee his earliest infant- prayer;
He has hi.s father's eager eyes,*? know,
And they say, too, his mother's sunny hftfr.
But when he sleeps and smiles upon my knee,
And I can feel his light breath-come and go,
I think of one—Heaven help and pity me!
Who loved me, and whom I loved-long ago.
Who might have been—ah, what 1 dare not
think.
We areall changed; God Judges for us best.
God help us to do our datyy and not shrink,
And trust rn Heaven for the rest.
But blame us women not, if some appear
Too cold at times,  and  some too gay and
light;
Some griefs gnaw deep, some woes are hard
to bear.
Who knows the past?  Who can judge us
right ?
Ah, were we judged by what-we might have
been,
And not by what we are—too apt to fall!
My little child—he sleeps and smiles between
These  thoughts  and  me.   In heaven we
shall know all.
TOHN CHBISTGATJ,
tto&b Sc  Shoe Maker,
Main Street; Sauk Centre, Minn.,
A complete stock of Boots and Shoes kept
constantly on hand, and made to order on
short notice.   Good fits warranted.   •
"Repairing promptly done," at reasonable
prices* All kinds of Shoemaker's Tools for
■sale.
R
P. EDSON'
Is Agent for sound and reliable
FIRE,  LIFE,   ACCIDENTAL   LIFE AND
LiIVE STOCK INSURANE COMPANIES.
He insures Live Stock ■ against Death and
Theft, in the Hartford Live Stock Insurance
Company—the soundest and only reliable
Live Stock Company on this continent.
LAND OFFICE & REAL ESTATE
' AGENCY.
IV. H.  Miner,
Lands sold on commission. Farms composed of Prairie, Meadow and Timber Land
for sale.
Persons desiring to enter Land, with Cash,
Scrip or Land Warrants, or to file Pre-
Emption claims, can do so at my office
and avoid the time and expense of
~_ atrip to St. Cloud.
Office over the Post Office, Sauk Centre,
Minnesota.
THE PROPOSAL.
I met her in the quiet lane
One .Sabbath morning early:   ■
The sun was bright although ithe rain
- Still glittered on the Barley.
The lark was singing to his mate,
The wild bells chimed their warning,
We paused awhile outside the gate;
We fingered until it was too iate
To go to church that morning.
Again we Thet^ The-whisB'ring leaves
Glanced nigh tnj night and shadow,
The reapers plrea the yeil&wsneaves;"
The bees humm'd o'er the meadow,
The royal sun rose up in state,
&ar uarriage day adorning ■
The bells rang out; wide stood the gate,
And neither of us was too late
To go to church that morning.
Mx$MlUm.
RULES FOR COURTING.
The following good advice on the
above subject is from the pen of John
Quill, who seems to have.rathor a blissful experience in relation to such matters -:'
1.. Never go courting the girl's pa-,
rents. You'd better edge up to the
clwiHer,horself at once ; for you can't
rilarry her if you don't try, unless she
wants you, and you may be able to even
if the old folks are hard on. you.
2. By_.aU means get the, girl's ma
down on you as much as possible. If
the Mil lady is* always blowing against
you, the little dear begins to take your
part, and can't-help loving you.
I did this way, and my present mother-in-law used to throw brooms and
washboards at me, and teach tho dog
to bite me in the trowsers as I climbed
over, the fence.
N. B. She's got over it now, and
lives at my house without paying hoard.
If remorse festers in her soul in conse-
qnence of her conduct, however, I
qayenft bbtieed it yet.
3. If you see any other fellows prowling about, always euchre them if you
can. If you see one of them buy tickets for Tlie opera, .go aaght up and make
an engagement with the girl, and get
your tickets afterwards; and when
they visit the house always act as.if you
wefe at homo] anjd fcfiey fveS-6 only visitors', and never leavVfirst.
I always did this, and have frequently sat until .daybreak, while thefair one
snored away^on'lhe sofa. You can't
bluff me. No, sir, ha! ha I I guess
not.- I would have been there yet if
the fellow had stayed.
4. If the old man has worldly wealth,
express a dislike to. greenbacks, and a
hankering after love in a small hause.
5. When you inquire if she-will have
you, don't fall on your knees—it's ridiculous, Upsides being rough on trousers.
Just take her hand and speak out like
a man.
6. When you are engaged, don't go
off like an old jackass, and begin buying teaspoons and wash boilers and
candles. It is very unwise and excites
comment.
Why I recollect, I was so glad That I
went right off and purchased a baby-
jumper and a gum ring. It was a long
while ore those things were necessary,
the baby-jumper  had  shrunk so
and
that when we put the first of the little
Quils into it, it suddenly jerked up, and
came frightfully near battering the devoted child's brains out against the
ceiling, while the gum ring, having
been kept Jn a box with cockroach
poison, threw the baby into fits, and he
(it was a boy) had spasms in the orib
for four days.
7. If a girl refuses you don't give it
up, but try it again. Becausertwo negatives make an affirmative in grammar;
however, don't consider yourself accepted when a girl jilts you twice. I
asked one female forty-one times, and
at last she got to expect it whenever I
came, and sometimes would holler out
" No I " from the top'of the stairs before I got fa-My in the house.
8. Kiss all the little children in the
house, erven if they are dirty, and do
smear molasses candy in your hair.
Let the boy play horse with you and
make a fool of you generally. It is a
trump card if you play it right.
9. And finally, if there are two sisters, and the old one is jealous, get
some one to choke rherofTwhile you go
in for the younger.'
I did that once, and used to get my
friends to -ask the senior girl out every
evening; but she found me out and
used to arrange hair pins in the sofa
cushions before she went out, so that it
was extremely uncomfortable.
If any further information iswanted,
send me a letter enclosing stamp
'(fifty cents), and I will cheerfully give
it gratis..
A LEGEND OF THE GREAT EASTERN.
'- There is a wild sort of legend in connection with the Gr&at Eastern steamship, the origin, of -whwjh I do not know,
but the shiprights firmly believe in it.
So much has been written about the
construction of this famous vessel; that
the slightest allusion to it here will
suffice. She is a ship with two cases,
orskins^as they are called ; that is, she;
is almost like one ship fitted inside another. Between the inner and outer
skin workmen can crawl for repairs.
Dreadfully dark and sepulchral, of
course, it is in there, for, from the nature of the space, • the workman must
be completely closed in, excepting the
spot where he enters. Very few smiths
or shipwrights would care to work in
here alone, for two terrible spec ties
are supposed to haunt the place. Almost all the men who were engaged in
the construction'of the vessel believe
that, somewhere there in the darkness
and thick air, lie two skeletons, which
never can be found till -the vessel is
broken up. These are'the remains of
a'smith and his riveter, the latter being a lad. During the construction of
the vessel these two workmen all
through the week, kept full time ; and
their work lay. in between the skins.
The smith was an elderly man, of a
moody temper, who made no friends;
and was not popular with his mates.
No one had seen him leaving woric;
nobody was interested in him. But
one pay day both he and his lad failed
to appear at the pay table to draw their
monejf. '-'They were never heard of
more by any one who worsted on the
Great Eastern. Of course their iab-
senee had been noticed by the time
Keeper and other officials; but the
missing men being, as I have said, unpopular with their comrades, there had
been very little inquiry about them
until it was found that their money
was not claimed. It was then soon
noted that the last time they had been
seen, that they were at worK" in the
" case " of the ship, and before long it
became a fixed notion that by a fall, or
by the -effect of some vapor, the two
had been Killed, or stunned until closed
ia'; and all the hostof meriwho worxed
at the great ship believed thatvsome-
where m the 'vast IiuIk there lay two
sKeletons, which, for some.. reason,
could never be found; the.\prosaic idea
that the old fellow and his helper had
left without warning for a better job,
finding, of course, no favor. ■ .
LOOK" ALOFT.
-When in a perilous position it is
dangerous to look down. The sight.is
very apt to create dizziness and fright,;
and lead'to a fall. A boy on shipboard
was sent out on one of the long, high
yards to do some work. He finished
his task, but as he walked back to the
mast- on the single round 'yard, he
looked down' to the deck, dizziness
came over him, his head began to swim,
and in another moment he might have
fallen, and been killed. But the Waft;!*-.
ful eye of $}e rcaptawi' saw ;tbe: lad's
danger, and he cried out to hdm,
in a tone that could but be
obeyed,'" Look rfioft, boy, look aloft I "
The astonished boy looked up, recovered his poise and self possession
and reached the deck in safety. " My
boy," said the captain," "when, in danger remember to look up."
It is always dangerous to look down
on things and people below us. ■ Your
head may not swim.with .dizziness, you
may not be paralyzed with fright, but
by looking down on bad. persons and
unworthy things your heart may grow
dizzy, an,d in spite of good resolutions
you may fall almost before you realize
-your danger.
The desires and feet usually follow
the lead of the eyes. Look rriuoh at
wicked companions and impure objects'
and you will almost surely go downward and become bad too. It makes
an immense difference boys, whether
you look down or up. Many of the
best young men have fallen, because
they looked constantly at companions
•and scenes that were unworthy and
degraded. Many of themost promising
boys have failed in life because they
had no high aim—because they looked
not above.
The only safety for you, boys, in this
world, so full of perils, and pitfalls, is in
looking up to persons and things above
you. The upward look steadies the
heart, and keeps the being sound and
strong. The more you think of. great
and good men, the more will you wish
to become great and good yourselves.
The more you associate wi£h those, the
wiser and better will you become.
Heart and hand usually follow the
eyes. Look up, you will most likely
ascend.
Boys, I give you a motto to-day—
Look aloft. When you are tempted
and your heart grows dizzy with wrong
desires, remember the sailor boy, and
look aloft. In your private hours, in
your walks, plays, conversations, keep
your eyes fixed on men and things
above you. Look aloft in your meditations, and He who dwells above will
reward /your upward look with . the
prizes and prospects He has reserved
for only those who look aloft.
A Very Peculiar Case of Hydrophobia-
From the Detroit Free Press, July 6.
Sixteen years ago last Wednesday,
James Bay, then a,resident of Pontiac,
was bitten by a rabid dog, but experienced no serious effects' from the bite,
until one year from the day ori which
jhe was bitten. He then felt some sym-
toms of the terrible disease, which soon
developed into a most frightful attack.
For six weeks -he was a raving maniac,
and all hope of his recovery was abandoned; but an iron constitution, and
skillful nursing, brought him out from
the shadow of death, and he rallied,
|the disease finally- passed off. He pur-
su'd'd :the even tenor of his way until
the second anniversary, when he was
again attacked, but with less severity
than on the first occasion. The 26th
day of June in each succeeding year
has been the occasion of a hydrophobic
fit, the last of which attacked him one
week ago yesterday, at Sandwich) where
he was employed as a brickmaker. The
usual symptoms were felt during the
early part of the day, and Bay requested some of his friends to tie him in order to prevent personal injury. Being
frightened by his personal appearance
they refused to -do so, and he continued
at his work all day and until midnight,
his usual time for quitting. Going to a
neighboring barn, he-tried to sleep off
the dreaded attack. After a while his
companions heard a noise in the barn,
ahd learning that it was as Bay had declared, went to his aid. An appalling
sight greeted them. The poor victim
was foaming at the mouth, biting at
various objects, and to all appearance
suffering the most horrible agony. As
soon as he caught sight of them, with
eyes glowing like fireballs, and uttering
an unearthly yell, he made a rush for
them. The party at once retreated,
leaving Bay alone in the gloomy hay-
loftj-wrought up to the highest pitch of.
maniacal frenzy^ and battling With an
enemy that no mortal man can subdue.
In one of his convulsions • he lifted a
portion or the roof completely off,
which evidently exhausted him, as
nothing more was heard, and when
his friends finally ventured to look after- him, he was found in a sound
sleep. He was at once secured
and taken to a safe place, where he
was kept for several hours, and when
he awoke nearly all traces of the previous night's awful experience had disappeared, and with the exception" of
the exhaustion produced by his great
escape by that means all would, be
drowned. After many hours of laborious efforts to raise the boat, the hoisting machinery broke, and the attempt
was necessarily abandoned. About the
middle of the afternoon of the second
day the bubbles commenced to grow
fainter and more rarej and before sundown entirely ceased. The boat still
lies where it went down, and passengers arriving by the steamer are _told
by the boatmen, as they row towards
the shore, the painful story of these
ten men's fate, and of the females who
still mourn in Valparaiso for their fath*
ers and brothers,in the iron coffin- at
the bottom of the sea.
sultenngs
was as well as usual.
TEN MEN ON THE BOTTOM OF
THE OCEAN.
The -Herald's Valparaiso correspondent sends the following:
After the bombardment of Valparaiso
and while the Spanish fleet was at
Callao, a man, residing at Valparaise,
constructed a submarine boat for the
purpose, of applying torpedoes to" .the
bottom of the Spanish frigates. The
boat was forty feet long, and was propelled by a screw worked by hand. So
confident was the builder in her efficacy that at the first experiment in the
bay he took with him into the boat his
son and eight friends- After sailing
about a few moments on the surface,
the boat was made to sink without
the precaution of having the cables
atached for use in case of accident, or
even a buoy to. mark the spot where
she went down. Several hours elapsed,
and the boat failing to return, the spectators crowded on the mole began to
fear that all was not right, and as the
day passed away, the conviction became
general that the adventurous party had
gone to the bottom. Late in the afternoon the mail steamer from Panama
-came in and fired a gun near the spot
where the boat disappeared.
As the small boats were passing to
and from the steamers with passengers,
etc., bubbles were discovered rising upon the surface of the water where the
submarine boat was last seen; and as
they came up at regular intervals
and in small numbers • it was supposed that the party was still alive, and
hearing the steamer's gun, and knowing that a great many boats would be
going.to and fro, was signalling for help
by ejecting air. A diver belonging to
one of the English men-of-war Was at
once sent down', and after half an hour's
anxious waiting he returned with the
intelligence that the boat was on the
bottom, in thirty-three fathoms of water. Chains arid cables were immediately attached to the boat, and repeated efforts made to raise her, but without avail, her bottom seeming to have
been sucked into the oozy bed of the
sea, and become firmly fastened. All
night and the next day, until afternoon, the bubbles kept coming up like
signals, ■ sometimes not appearing for
half an hour at a time, and then suddenly rushing up for a few seconds with
great force. The feelings of the popu-
lac»/asse'mbled to rescue the party from
their terrible fate may be imagined;'
but what must have been the reflections of the men during these awful
hours at the bottom of the sea, knqwing
as they did what little hope there Was
for them.
They could have heard the divers
working on the sides of their, boat attaching the chains, and, perhaps, -,j&$fr
the strain as the cable drew taut; but
as time sped away without their being
raised, dispair, worse than death, must
have taken possession of them. Doubtless they tried hard to signal through
the sides of their boat to the
diver hammering outside, but he, in
his diving dress, could hear nothing.
The apertures-to the interior were so
small that but one person could pass
through at a time, and that very slowly, so that if an attempt  was  made  to
DANIEL WEBSTER'S CHARACTER.
Mr. Parton, the historian, in a late
magazine article, thus portrays the
character of-the late Daniel Webster
He says :
In surveying the life and works of
this eminent and gifted man, we are
continualjy struck with the evidences
of his magnitude. He was, as we have
said, a very large person. His brain
was within a little of being one-third
larger than the average, and it was one
of the three largest on record. His
-bodily frame, in all parts, was on a majestic scale, and his presence was immense. He liked large things—mountains, elms, great oaks, wide fields, the
oeeaii, the Union, and all things of
magnitude. He liked gseafc Borne far
better than refined Greece, and reveled
in the immense things of literature,
such as Paradise Lost and the Book of
Job' Burke, Dr. Johnson and the Sixth
Book of iEneid.
Homer he never cared for—nor,, indeed, anything Greek. He hated, he
loathed the act of writing.. Billiards,
ten-pins, chess, draughts, whist, he
never relished, though fond to excess
of out-door pleasures, like hunting, fishing, yachting. He liked to be alone
with great nature—alone in the giant
woods or on the shores of the resounding sea—alone all day with his gun, his
dog and his thoughts—alone in the
morning before any one was astir but
himself, looking out upon the sea and
the glorious sunrise,
r What a delicious picture of this' large
healthy son of earth Mr. Lanman gives
us, where he describes his coming into
his bed-room at sunrise. "Awake, sluggard ! and look upon this glorious
scene, for the sky and' the ocean are
enveloped in flames!" He was akin to
all large, and slow things in nature.
A herd offine cattle gave him a keen,
arr inexhaustable enjoyment; but he
never "tasted" a horse, he had no horse
enthusiasm. In England he chiefly enjoyed these five things, the Tower of
London, Westminster Abbey. Smith-
field Cattle Market, English farming,
and Sir Eobert Peel. Sir Robert Peel,
he thought, was "head and shoulders
above any other man " he ever met.—
He greatly excelled, too, ih describing
immense things. In speaking of the
pyramids, once, he asked, "who can inform us by what now unknown machines mass was thus aggregated to
mass, and quarry piled on quarry, till
solid granite seemed to cover the earth
and reach the skies ?"' His peculiar
love of the union of these States was
partly due, perhaps, to this habit of
mind- He felt that he wanted and required a continent to live in; his mind
would have gasped for breath ia New
Hampshire.
PUT TO HIS STUMPS.
. About forty years ago there lived in
Western Pennsylvania two farmers
named Wood and Osborne respectively.-.
They were near neighbors, but inveterate enemies; and it is said they almost lived in sight of each other.
Wood one day went out with a mat-
toCk to dig up half a dozen stumps that
had never yet been removed from his
meadow ; but he -finding it pretty hard
work, and, -moreover, not being very
fond of work, he gave it up arid returned to the house.. On the way it occurr.
ed to him that by a cunning device, he
might induce his friendly neighbor to
uproot the little annoyances. Acting
on a bright idea that occurred to him,
he entered his house, got his writing
materials; and in a disguised hand,
wrote : «*•--_«
" Mr. Wood:—I am an old man, fast
approaching my end, and I cannot go
to my grave without revealing to you a
seeret. When I was a young man I
helped to rob your grandfather of a
large amount of money. I and my
partner in crime buried five thousand
dollars of it under a tree in the meadow that now belongs to you. No doubt
these trees have been cut down by this
time, but the stumps may still remain.
My companion was soOn after hanged
for a murder he committed, and I was
sent to jail: for highway robbery. I
was but lately released; and I wish to
do all I can to atone for past misdeeds,
I send this letter by- a person who says
he knows where you live, and he will
throw it; into your house. •■
" A Repent ant Criminal"
vMy. Wood sealed this bit of fiction,
addressed it to-hinjjself, and when night
came crept stealthily to Osborne's dodr4
opened it, tossed in the letter and ran
as thong*h satan were after him. On
reaching home he retired and slept
soundly till'morning. When he rose
he cast a glance toward his meadow
and to his satisfaction, discovered that
every stump in it had been dug up and
pulled out by the roots. After breakfast he went to work and'piled them
up ready to burn.  .
Imaeioe-Qsborae's bitterness of heart
as he passed on his way to the village
that morning, saw Wood thus, engaged,
and knew that he had been duped by
him.-
MODEL  TEMPERANCE   HOUSE.
A few years ago, when the Maine liquor law was in full force  in Vermont-;
Judge C, of  . was   en   a journey.
He stopped at a tavern  in  the town-of
 for the night.
After supper the Judge asked the
worthy landlord ' for a glass of gis;'
The landlord said be was sorry he could
not accommodate him.
' "I am obliged by law to keep a temperance house," lie said.   ,
It was late, so the Judge could not
go on that night, but told the landlord
he would leave early iri . the morning
before breakfast.
The Judge was taken to a fine room;
the landlord said :
" I hope you will be comfortable."
Theje was an open stove in the room
where Judge C. found a bottle of brandy. He then went to his washstand
and opened it; he found a bottle of
gia, water, glasses, etc. The J udge
after helping himselfj went down and
told the landlord he would not leave
early.
After breakfast the next morning-
Judge C. paid his bill, and said to the
landlord :
" I have been a great opposer of temperance houses, and I always refused
to stop at one, but I like the.hang of
yours, and will call whenever I come
this way."'
The landlord said:'
" I am sorry I could not let you have
some gin last evening; but the law is
so strict, and my neighbors keep so
close Watch, that I am obliged to keep
a ' temperance house.' ?
■ " What is a Tare ?"—Many men,
although not as exemplary as they
should be in their own lives, are yet at
much.pains to rear their -children coft
rectly. The sentiment with them is;
" do as I say, not as I do."
Such a father (hot far from Cincinnati) is in the habit of- getting intoxicated, or on a " tare," rather often. He
endeavors, however, to hide the fact
from his children, "but-" little pitchers
have long ears," and children. know
more of what is going on than grown
people generally suppose.
- The evening this exemplary parent
was hearing his little Johnny recite his
Sunday school lesson. It was. from,
the fourteenth chapter of Matthew^
wherein is related the parable of the
malicious individual' who went about
sowing tares, etc.
" What is a tare ? " the parent interrupted to inquire. .
Johnny hesitated..
Tell me, my son, what a tare is."-
" You have had 'em," said Johnny,
casting his eyes down and wriggling
his foot.
" Had "em," said the astonished parent, opening his- eyes rather white:
" why,-what do you mean, Johnny?"
" When you didn't come home for
three days last week," said Johnny, " I
beard mother tell Aunt Susan that you
were off on a tare."
The Sunday school lesson wasbrougkt
to an abrupt close, and Johnny, who
knew too much altogether to sit up
any later, was sent oft' to bed.
Masculine . Etiquette.'—Gentlemen
walking should keep their hands in
their pockets. It shows their figure to
advantage, keeps their hands warrn
and out of other people's pockets.
In the afternoon congregate in front
of hotels and saloons. Then upon ladies passing- set up an equine cachina-
tion (translated horse laugh).
Keep the centre of the sidewalk. By
this means others in meeting you will
know fvbich side to pass.; when they
attempt it, step iri the same direelvo'ri
with them. -This' affords an agreeable
variety in a promenade.
If you see a' rjerson on the opposite
side of the street you wish bo inbefvep't,
cry as loud as possible to "him, " Ho,
Jones." Of course Jones will "Ho ! "
and yon will show people that yam take
a great interest in the fate of Joeest
When turning a corner, walk rapidly, with your eyes in the opposite' direction. You may meet • somebody,
and give them an opportunity to study
astronomy by daylight.
One of the best stories we remember
referring to a stolen watch comes from
a French source. In the pit of the old
French opera,- One of the audience suddenly discovered that his watch was
gone. The 'evening's entertainment
had not commenced" and the owner of
the property mounted a bench, stated
the loss, which could not have occurred
above two or three minutes, and begged those around him to remain- perfectly quiet, as his watch strucK th<:
hours lixe a cIock, and it then being
on the st-riice of seven, the watch would
speedily indicate into whose possession
it had .fallen. There was a dead silence; lmfc the. eye .of the proprietor
detected an individual who was trying
to edge away from the vicinity, and he
immediately denounced tlie SKubxor
as '■ the thief. The latter was seized,'
and the watch was found upon him;
and as the owner quietly put it into his;
poCKet, he romanced: "The watch-
does not striKe the hour, but I thought
my assertion that. it-did would eUal'J*'
me to striKe out the thief.
It waS ah apt answer of a fair 3«oup-H
ladv, who, being asxed  where—-"*^ -**?£.
native place, replied^*^. "on?;. *
am the daiigh>-«T^Methodist minister." 1 ^^^