The Sauk Centre Herald (Sauk Centre, Minnesota), 1867-09-05

              /
/
VOLUME X
SAUK CENTRE, MINNESOTA, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 1861
NUMBER 14.
M>\xt gmh (fitorttt §rat&
fr/BtlSHBD   EVERT   THURSDAY   MORNING,
At   Sauk Oentre,   Minn.j
•BY J. H. A a-SIMONTON.
O- Office corner Third and Seventh streets,
one block west of the Sauk Centre House..
Subscription t
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR  IN ADVANCE-
Rates ot Advertising i
|lw
2 w|3w  |3m | 6m |   ly
1 Square
1100
1251   150|   3 501   600|1000
2    "
1150
200j   2 50 j   4 00 |   8 00 | 15 00
3      "
|200
275)  35*(   550 J 10 00 j 18 00
Ji column
1300
4001   500] 700|12l»12000
Vl      "
j 500
6 50 |   8 00 110 00 | 20 00 1 40 00
I
| 8 00 110001 12 00120 00 | 10 00 j 7d 00
THE NEW MOWN HAT.
Legal advertisements 75 cents per square for
the first Insertion, and 37% cents per square
for each Subsequent insertion.
Special place advertisements inserted at
rates'agreed upon.
Yearly advertisers to pay quarterly.
Strangers must pay in advance, or. give satisfactory reference.
job printing
of all kinds executed on short notice In the
best style.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
N. H. MINER.
Miner
H. WEBN.
& "Wren,
Attorneys and  Counselors 'it Law, Notaries
Public, and Conveyancers,
Special attention given to proceedings In
Bankruptcy in the United States Courts.
Sauk Centre,        -'        - ■       Minnesota.
Office over the Post Office.
^R. B. R. PALMER,
PHYSICIAN de SURGEON.
Kg- Residence near the Mill, Sauk Centre. "©»
LLLIAM J. PARSONS,
ATTORNEY AT LA W,
Saint Germainestreet, over.Burbank Bros.,
St. Cloud, Minnesota.
CHAS. WALKER,
Attorney at Law.
R. P. EDSON,
Attorney at Law and
Notary Public.
Etlson Sc "Walker,
REAL ESTATE AGENTS,
Office over Philadelphia Store on Third street,
Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minnesota.
Business Property, Houses and Lots, Farms,
Farming Lands, etc., etc., bought and sold on
com mission.
ATTENTION!
La called to the feet that our facilities for making out Pre-emption papers and for locating
una entering Government Land -with Cash,
Scrip or Land Warrants, aref unsurpassed by
any office west of St. Cloud. A large assortment of Town Plots for the use of seekers of
Claims on hand and kept constantly corrected by correspondence with tlie Land Office.
We have In our hands for sale some of the
finest Farms aud Farming Lands in this
uppor-eountjy.     --%t''..
BUSINESS  CARDS.
J. WHITEFIELD,
House & Sign Painter,
Graining, Glazing, Paper Hanging, Ac, done
With neatness and on reasonable terms.
Work warranted equal In quality to that
agreed upon or no charges made. .OSf Paint
Shop next door to Thomas A Co's.
Sauk Centre, Minn., June 5,1867.
When swallowB dart from cottage eaves,
Andjfarmers dream of barley sheaves;
When apples peep amid the leaves
And woodbines scent the way—
We love to fly from dally care,
To breathe the country buxom air—
To join our hands and form a ring—
To laugh and sport—and dance and sing,
Amid the new-mown hay.
A stranger comes with eyes of blue;
Quoth he,44 I'm Love, the youth and true;
I wish to pass an hour with you,
This pleasant summer day/*    ;:,"v£:'
" Come tat come in! you saucy elf!
And Wlao'S your friend? "—.'"Tis Friendship's
sell**
" Cbme each—come both, our sports to share.
There's welcome kind, the room to spare;
Amid the new-mown hay."
The ring Is formed; but who are these?
" Gome tell your errand, if you please;
You look so sour and 111 at ease,
You dim the face of day."
44 Ambition!" " Jealousy!" and " Strife 1"
And '' Scorn!" and " Weariness of Life!"
M If such your names, we hate your kin;
The place is full—you can't come in
Amid the new-mown hay.
Another guest comes bounding by.
With brow unwringled, fair andiugh—
With sun-burnt face and roguish eye,
And asks your leave\to stay.
Q,uoth he, "I'm Fun, your rightgood friend!"
" Come In, come In; with you we'll end!"
And thus we laugh, and dance and sing,
Amid the new-mown hay.
|IIWfclt$M|J.
COURTING  UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
TOHN CHRISTGAU,
Boot &  Shoe Maker,
Main Street, Sauk Centre, Minn.,
A complete stock of Boots .and Shoes kept
constantly on hand, and made to order on
short notice.   Good fits warranted.
Repairing promptly done, at reasonable
prices.  All kinds of Shoemaker's Tools for
tsole.
•AND OFFICE
I AGENCY.
N.  H.
& REAL  ESTATE
Miner,
Lands sold on commission. Farms composed of Prairie, Meadow and Timber Land
for sale.
Persons desiring to enter- Land, with Cash,
Scrip or Land Warrants, or to file Pre-
Emption claims, oan do so at my office
and avoid the time and expense of
a trip to St. Cloud.
Office over the Post Office, Sauk Centre,
Minnesota.
R.
P. EDSON
Is Agent for sound and reliable
FIRE,   LIFE,   ACCIDENTAL   LIFE  AND
LIVE STOCK INSTJRANE COMPANIES.
He Insures Live Stock  against  Death and
Theft, ia the Hartford Live Stock Insurance
Company—the  soundest and  only reliable
Live Stock Company on this continent.   •
N.
H. MINER,
Insurance Agent,
Sauk Oentre,        -        -        Minnesota.
Represents the soundest and most reliable
Fire, Life and Accident Insurance Companies of the Eastern and Western
States.  Office over the Post Office.
E
DWARD DREBLOW,
Cabinet Maker,
Main street, Sauk Centre,- Minnesota,
Keeps constantly on hand a complete stock
■ of Furniture, Coffins, &c.
All orders will receive prompt attention.
B
ILLIARD SALOON,
A. DE GROAT, Proprietor.
Third street, Sauk Centre, Minnesota.
Has first class Phelan & Collender Billard
Tables.
Choice Wines, Liquors, Ale, Porter and Cigars.      •    «j£)
s
ALOON AND BAKERY.
O. M. RENNOE, Proprietor.
Main Street, Sauk Centre, -Minnesota.
Bread, Cakes, Pies, &c, always on hand. Hot
Coffee and Meals at all hours.   Good
Wines and Liquors and the best
brands of Cigars.
Kate Blake was the only daughter of
Jacob Blake, the old miser of West
Brook.
She was more than commonly pretty,
and her frank, engaging manners enhanced the charms of golden hair, pearly skin, and eyes like the blue skies oT
summer. At her father's death sRe
would be heiress of the nice little sum
of seventy thousand dollars, and,
though men generally profess not to be
influenced by pecuniary matters in affairs of love, it is to bo reasonbly supposed that this prospective wealth by
no means lessened the number of her
adorers.
Among those ardent, and, perhaps
most sincere, was William Dartmouth,
with a heart larger than his purse arid
very little thought or care for consequences.
Fortunately old Jacob never suspected-the partiality of his daughter for
Will; he would have put her on bread
and water before he would have consented to the slightest intimacy with
Will Dartmouth.
Jacob Blake was riot in favor of marriage. Those who knew his circumstances were not surprised at this, for,
to u*? a phrase more expressive than
elegant, Mrs. Blake was a Tartar, with
temper enough for two Tartars.
Old Jacob had to " walk Spanish "
for the most part, or- sniffer . the consequences, which usually descended on
his head, in the shape of any domestic
utensil that happened to be lying
around handy.
A maiden sister of Mrs. Blake resided
in the family, whose principal business
seemed to be to act a sort of echo to
her brother and his wife. Whatever
they thought she thought too.
She regarded it as a primary sin for
Kate to associate with the young men,
and this doctrine was perseveringly
drilled into her neice, who, though she
never dissented, had her own-ideas upon the subject.
One day Mr. Blake and his wife went
to Deedham to attend a fair, and Miss
Peggy being absent at a friend's, Katie
was left alone. Will Dartmoth, in some
way, learned the condition of affairs,
and early in the afternoon he came
over to keep Kate company.
As her parents were not expected
home until evening, Will felt perfectly secure in stopping a while after tea ;
and he and Kate were having a jolly
time popping corn in the old fashioned
frying-pan, over the huge wood fire,
when there was a sound of voices at.the
door. " Good gracious! " cried Katej
turning white with alarm, " there is
aunt Peggy ! Oh, Will, what shall we
do ? She will scold me to death, and
father will be furious ! Get under the
lounge quick I Oh, Will, do for my
sake! "
-Will could not withstand the pleading in Kate's eyes, and he deposited
himself in the designated place.
' Peggy's voice was heard in the hall.
" Be careful, Mr- Pike; there's a
loose board there, I don't want to disturb my neice.    Softly, it may. creak."
" Peggy, dear, where are you 1" responded the voice of Esq. Pike, a.widower of a year.
" I can't tell which way you have
gone."
"There, Daniel! be easy." Good
heavens 1 Daniel Pike I Well, I never!"
and a report burst-upon the air like the
uncorking of a champagne bottle.
" Oh my I " cried aunt Peggy, *' what
would brother Jacob say ? I declare, I
haven't been kissed by a man since—"
" Let Jake mind his own business I"
retorted the squire. " You and I con
take care of ours ■ without his help ;"
and there followed a report similar to
the first, only more of it.
" Do be quiet, Daniel, and let me get
alight. Set right down there afore
the fire and make yourself at home.
A light was soon procured. Peggy
divested herself of her wrappings, and,
blushing like a girl in. her teens, sat
down opposite the Squire.
" It's a fine evening," said Peggy, by
the way of opening the conversation.
"Very." replied the Squire, drawing
his arm over her back.
"Oh, good gracious! Daniel, don't
set quite so'nigh me. I—that is, I don't,
consider it  strio^r'proper.     Mercy !
what's that?" *
Both listened attentively.
" It was the wind rattling the window, I guess," said the Squire. " Don't
you go to getting nervous, Peggy."
" I thought it was Kate waking up,
and if she should, I should never hear
the last of it."
" Hark I there is a noise—I—
" Gracious airth ! it's bells. Its Jake
and marm coming back ? What shall
I do ? We're done I Oh Squire, 'tain't
right for us to be nothing one to toth-
er!   Do help me !   What shall I do ?"
" Tell me where to go, Peggy; say
the word, I'll go anywhere for your
sake, if it's up the chimney."
" Under the lounge,. quick 1 It's
wide arid will hold well. Quick ! don't
delay a minute I "
The Squire obeyed, but the space
was so well filled that it was with difficulty he could squeeze himself in so
small a compass. And, just as he succeeded, Mr. Blake and his wife totered
the room, 'floundering along in the
dark, for Peggy had deemed it best to
extinguish the light. Jake made for
the fire, which still glowed with red
coals, stumbled over the cricket and
fell headlong against Peggy, who was
standing bolt upright, trying to oollect
her soattered senses.
" The deuce ! " cried" Jake. Look
out there, old woman, or you'll be
down over me. It's dark as a pocket
here, and I've fell over the rocking
chair or the churn, I can't tell which.
Hullo! what's that? reaching out his
hand to feel his situation and coming
in contact with the bearded face of the
squire. " By goli! it's got whiskers!
Peg, Peg I where are you ? and where's
Kate? and what is this?*"
The Squire did not relish the assault
on his hirsute appendages, and, by way
of retaliation, gave a series of kicks,
which hit Will Dartmouth in the region of £he stomach and stirred his
bile.
" Look here, old chap! " exclaimed
he, "I'm perfectly willing to share my
quarters with you, seein' as we're both
in for it; but you'd better not undertake that again."
■' Heavings!" ejaculated Peggy,"
who's voice is that?" That's what I
want to know, cried Jake, struggling
for an upright position. " Hullo ! who
fell over my legs ? "
" I'll let you know who's down and
who's up," said Mrs. Blake; and the
old lady scrambled up, only to go instantly down again over a chair. "Jake
where are you r get up this instant and
get a light, or I'll knock your breath
out when I get oil my feet again."
Jake started to obey, and just then
Tige, the watch dog, who, hearing the
uproar, had managed to break from his
lair, rushed upon the scene, and set up
hie best bow-wow.
The Squire had a mortal horror of
dogs, and neither fear nor love was
strong enough to keep him quiescent
now. He sprang to his feet with a yell,
and Will followed. Katie full of alarm
for her lover, hopped out of bed, and
appeared with a flaming tallow dip;
Peggy flung her arms around the
Squire's neck with a cry of terror, and
Jake was silent with amazement. Mrs.
Blake was the only one who possessed
her wits. She seized the corn popper,
and laid about her with vigor. Her
aim was not always correct, and consequently, she smashed the glass into a thousand fragments, and knocked
down the clock from its shelf, and demolished two bowls and a pitoher that
were quietly reposing on the mantle.
The Squire broke from Peggy's embrace and dashed out of the window.
Wrfl followed him, and Mrs. Blake
would have pursued by the same outlet, but she was a little too large to get
through with ease.
A dreaded council was holden ; Jake
stormed; Mrs. Blake threatened, «nd
at last Katie and Peggy confessed.
And Jake and his wife were so rejoioed
at the prospect of getting rid of Peggy,
that they forgave their daughter, and
took Will Dartmouth home at the end
of the year.
And, in due time, Peggy and the
Squire were made one flesh.
A Humorous Account 1>y Mark Twain
Ot a Dinner at   Fayal. '
Speaking pf those prodigious Portugese pennies reminds me that it takes
one thousand reis (pronounced rays) to
make a dollar, and that all financial
estimates are made out in reis. We
did not know this until after we found
it out, and we found it out through
Blucher. Blucher said he was so happy
and so grateful to be on solid land once
more that he wanted to give a feast—
said he had heard it was a cheap land,
and he wa* bound to have a grand banquet. He invited nine of us, and we
ate an excellent dinner at the principal hotel. In the midst of the jollity
produced by good' cigars, good wine,
and passable anecdotes, the landlord
presented his bill. Blucher glanced
at it, and his countenance fell. He
took an other loox to assure himself
that his senses hed not deceived him,
and then read the items aloud in a faltering voice, while the roses in his
cheex turned to ashes:
'•Ten dinners, at 600 reis, 6,000*reis I
Ruin and desolation!"
"Twenty-five cigars at 100 reis, 2,500
reis I'  Oh, my sainted mother I "
" Eleven bottles of wine at 1,200 reis,
18,200 reis.' Be with us all! " Total,
21,000 reis?' Great Ceesar's ghost, there
ain't money enough in the ship to pay
that bill I Go—leave me to my misery,
boys, I'm a ruined community I"
I think it was the blankest looking
party I ever saw. Nobody could say a
yfota.. It was as 'if every soul had been
struck dum. Wine glasses descended
slowly to the table, their contents un-
tasted. Cigars dropped unnoted from
nerveless fingers. Each man sought his
neighbor's eye but found in it no ray
of hope, no encouragement. At last the
fearful silenc6 was broken. The shadow of a desperate resolve had settled
down on Blucher's countenance like a
cloud, and he rose up and said:
"Landlord, this is a wretched, mean
swindle, and I'll never stand it. Here,s
one hundred and fifty dollars, sir, and
thats all you'll get—I'll swim in blood,
before I'll pay a cent more t"
Our spirits rose and the landlord's fell
—at least we thougt so; he was confused at any rate, notwithstanding he
had.not understood a word that had'
been sa^d. He glanced from the little
pile of gold pieces to Blucher several
times, and then went out. He must
have visited an American, for when he
returned, he brought back his bill
translated into a language that a-Christian could understand—thus :
10 dlnuers, 6,000 reis, or
25 cigars, 5,500 reis, or
11 bottles wine, 13,200 reis, or
$ 6.00
2.50
13.20
$21.70
Total, 21,700 reis, or
Happiness    reigned once   more  in
Blucher's dinner party.   More refreshments were ordered.
TJIOCBLSS OF THE KKWLY RICH.
5^
Extracts   from
tlie Connecticut Blue
Laws,
No food or lodgings shall be offered
to a Quaker, Adamite, or other heretics.
No one shall run on the Sabbath day,
walk in his garden, or elsewhere, except reverently to and from meeting.
No woman shall kiss her child on the
Sabbath or fasting day.
When it appears that an accused has
confederates, and he refuses- to discover them, he may be racked.
Whoever publishes a lie to the prejudice of a neighbor, shall sit in the
stocks or shall be whipped fifteen
stripes.
A debtor in pi'ison swearing he has
no estate, shall be let out and sold to
make satisfaction.
No on© shall read common prayer,
keep Christmas or saint days, make'
mince pies, dance, play cards, or play
on any instrument of music, except
the trumpet and Jewsharp.
No man shall court a maid in person
or by letter, without first obtaining the
consent, of her parents; five dollars
penalty for the first, offence; ten pounds
for the second; and for the third imprisonment during the pleasure of the
court.
"Every male-shall have his hair cut
round according to a cap.
■    Ml
Gratitude for kindness shown, acknowledgment for favors reserved are unerring
marks of good breeding, and indications of
Christian character.
The Boston correspondent of the
Springfield Republican writes as follws :
Except the very poor, who actually lack
the necessaries of life, there is no class
which has a stronger claim to public
sympathy than the newly rich, whose
numbers have so increased among us
within five years. I heard of one yesterday which is really distressing. Ten
years ago in a town thirty miles from
Boston, lived a worthy mechanic, who
had accumulated by hard work at his
trade, a few thousand dollars. Ho was
induced to invest his savings in a manufacturing enterprise, and in three or
four years or so found himself a rich
man. He is a good natured ignorant
man, who is by no mesns puffed up by
his good fortune. He says that his success is due to no merits of nis own;
that whatever he touches turns to money, and he oan't help it. He is simple
in his tastes, and would like to - live on
as he has .lived so many years, and as
thousands of New England mechanics
live. But he has a wife and several
daughters, and the poor man is overruled.
Last winter they must live at a hotel
in town, and sport a carriage pair of
horses, which they did of course, and
this summer they must have a country
residence. So, being attached to the
place of their birth, and perhaps laudi-
bly solicitous to impress their old neighbors with a sense of their pecuniary
importance, they bought a handsome
house at O——, and proceeded to furn
THE   LATEST    WHOM    THE    SONG
WRITERS.
BY THB " FAT COSTRIBUT0R.
The man who " Drempt iri" Marble
Halls" has opened a marble quarry
there, and is doing a thriving business
in getting out grave stones.
The author of "Carry me back to
Old Virginia " has opened a livery stable, and is carried back in his own conveyance whenever he wants to be.
The man that sang " I am Lonely
sinoe my Mother died" isn't quite so
lonely now. Tho old man married
again, and his step-mother makes it
lively enough for him.
Tlfe author of " Life on the Ocean
Wave, " is gratifying his taste for the
sea by tending a saw. He will be on
the water.
The one who gave "The Old Folks at
Home" to the world has recently taken
them to the poor house, as they were
getting troublesome.
The author of " Shells of the Ooean "
is in the clam business.
The man who wanted to. " Kiss him
for his Mother" attempted to " kiss his
mother for him" the other dayj and
" him" gave him a walloping " for his
mother."
Thejone who wailed so plaintively,
" Da they miss me at home ?" was
missed the other day, together with a
neighbor's wife. He is missed by his
wife, and seven children.
The author of the " Three blind
mice" has started a menagerie with
them.
The man who wrote " Five o'clock in
the morning," found that no saloons
were open at that early hour where he
could get his bitters, so he lies abed
ratherlate now.
"Give me a oot in \he valley I love"
has got a cot in the infirmary.
The man who sighed " Take me
home to die," took Dr. Kerr's System
Renovator, and is now a " Fine ould
Irish Gintleman."
" Meet me by moonlight alone," has
left off meat and taken to drink.
Tne author of " Roll on Silver Moon"
has opened a ball alley. Silver moon
can't roll on his alley without paying
for it.
The disconsolate one who sings,
"Have you seen my Maggie?" has
heard of her. Another feller informs
him, through the music store, that
" Maggie's by my side."
" I'd offer thee this hand of mine,"
has been sued for breach of promise.
" Oh ! Susanna," has settled with her
at length, and don't owe Susanna any
more.
The author of "Old Arm Chair" is
still in the furniture business.
The one who pleaded " Rock me to
Sleep, Mother, Rock me to Sleep," has
at length been gratified. His mother,
yielding to his repeated solicitations,
picxed up a rocK and rocxed him to
sleep.   He hasn't woke up yet.
He who asxed, " Who will care- for
Mother now ?" has finally concluded
to taxe oare of the old woman himself,
as no one else seems inclined to.
Quarrelling!—If anything in the
world will make a mari feel badly, except pinching his fingers in the crack
of a door, it is unquestionably a quarrel.
No man ever fails to think less of himself after it than before. It degrades
him iri the eyes of others, and, what is
worse, blunts his sensibilites on the
one hand, and increases the power of
passionate irritability on the other.
The truth is, the more peaceable and
quietly we get on, the better for our"
selves and for our neighbors. In nine
cases out of ten, the better course is, if
a man cheats you, cease to deal with
him, if be is abusive, quit his company?;
and if he slanders you, take care to live
so that nobody will believe him. No
matter who he is, or how he misuses
you, the wisest way is to let him alone',
for there .is nothing better than this
cool, calm, and quiet way of dealing
with the wrongs we meet with.
The Moral Market.—The foHowinst
report of matters in the mroal market
haB been made. We hope it is not eri«
tirely correct:
Honor—scarce. Old stook exhausted
and the new one will be a complete
failure.
■Virtue—Old growth nearly consumed
—Young growth-—prospects very unpromising.
Honesty—none in the markets
Patriotism—First quality scarce ;
none to be disposed of. Second quality
easily bought on speculation at 100 per
cent, discount.
Prudence—All in the hands of old
stockholders.
Modesty—Stook badly damaged.—
none for sale.
Vice—market overstocked. •
Pride—Market glutted.
Politeness—Cheap. Holders unwilling to dispose of stock at present rates'.
Scandal—none at wholesale. Dealt
in chiefly by hawkers and peddlers at
retail.
Religion—None genuine on hand.
Stock generally adulterated. Very few
investments.
Love—none offered—except for
greenbacks.
Talent—Scarce article. Sold exclusively for Cash.
Consistency—Out of fashion.
ish it in the most sumptuous Btyle. The
things that have gone into the house
have been discussed under every roof
in the town. There was a carpet in the
parlor that cost $5001 But in the midst
of all this luxury the mistress thereof
is miserable. She has secured the services of two ladies who have lived abroad
and have also been residents of Fifth
Avenue, and they have taken upon
themselves the entire charge of the
household. The poor lady says she
does not know a single dish that comes
on her table; all is French. Just think
what a trial this must be for a good,
faithful housewife, who, for twenty-five
years, was accustomed to prepare the
frugal meal of baked beans or codfish
with her own substantial hands.
"THANK YOU, JEW."
The following admirable anecdote is
from Breslau, and. is of recent date.
No4 long since an elderly man, with
bare head,  stood  in  an eating house,
surrounded by a crowd of people.—
The landlord held  the  man's bat and
cane in his bands, and an impudent
waiter stood between the guest and the
door.   The confusion of the old man
was indescribable.   He seemed to be
for the first time in his life in such a
scrape—said nothing,  looked down on
the ground and with difficulty restrained his tears, while all around mocked
and jeered him.   Just then a poorly-
dressed Jew, with a long white beard;
entered,   and   inquired   what   it   all
meant, andT with an expression of almost feminine curiosity.   He was told
that the man had eaten and drunk,
and, now that he must pay, he searched his pockets in vain   for   money.
" Well," exclaimed the Jew, "I see
the old Elan for the. first time,  but I'll
be bound he did not oome here to
cheat.   And landlord, suppose he bad
no money to forget, couldn't you for
once give a poor man something to eat,
for God's sake?   How much does he
owe, any how ?" The debt was eight
silver groschen, and the Jew, paying
this, took the old man by the hand and
led him to the door.   These^ present
did not seem to enjoy the reproof which
their brutality had received, and one
insolent fellow cried out;    ¥ Hey I Jew,
what have you done ?—this is the Sabbath, and you  have touched money ?"
(This is forbidden to the Israelites.)
"You are righr," answered the Jew.
"Just now I forgot I was a Jew, jUst as
you forgot you were Christians,   But
you may rest easy on my account;  I
understand my commandment which
says, "Honor the Sabbath day and keep
it holy."    Just get some  school-master
to explain it to you, and if he is a reasonable man he will agree with me.
Good deeds have no Sabbath. And with
those words the good man   left the
room.
"I Am ".—God doth not say, I am
their light, their strength, tbeir tower,
but only •' I am ." He sets as it were,
his hand to a blank, that his people
may write what they please that is good
for them. As if He should say, Are
they weak ? I am strength, Are they
poor ? I am riches. Are they In trouble ? I am comfort. Are they sick ? I am
in health. Are they dying ? I am life.
Have they nothing ? I am all things.
I am wisdom and power. I am justice
and mercy. I am grace and goodness-
I am glory, beauty, holiness, eminen-
cy, perfection, all-sufficiency, eternity,
Jebovah, I am. Whasoever is amiable
in itself, or desirable unto them, that I
am.   Whatsoever is pure and holy ■
whatsoever is great and. pleasant-^-
whatsoever is good or needful to maxe
men  happy' that I am.—Exchange.
What a beautiful example for all of
Us is the resolution of the old lady who
from a crabbed and anxious body became quite the opposite. When asked
what had induced the change, she replied, " To tell the truth, I have been
all my life striving for a contented
mind, and have finally concluded to sit
down contented without it,"
While ten men watch for chances,
one man makes chances, and while ten
wait for something to turn up, one
turns something up; so while ten fail,
one succeeds end is called a lucxy man
or favorite of fortune. There is no lucx
lixe plucK, and fortune most favors
those who are most indifferent to fortune.
'Find fault when you must; in private, if
possible, and sometime after the offence
rather than at the time. The blamed are less
inclined to resist when they are "blamed
without witnesses.
. In a railroad station is a placard announcing "No smoking," posted over an
oil lamp. Two Inishman appeared, one
smoking. "Mike," said the othor,
"ye're transgressin' the rhules of the
establishment." 'SHow's that?" said
the smoker. "Don't you see there—no
smokin ?" "Yis; but can't ye see, ye
spalpeen, the remark was addressed to
the lamp 1"
Tne most difficult thing in the world is to
talk good nonsense. No person can do it but
one of first-rate ability.
VARIETIES.
To think well of every other man's condition, and to dislike our own, is one of the
misfortunes of human nature.
A bashful young man escorted anequaHy
bashful young lady. As they approached,
the dwelUng of the damsel-, she said, entertainingly: "Jehlfil, don't tell anybody yon
beaued me home." ** Sary," said he, emphatically, "don't yon mind, I am as much
ashamed of it as you are."
The great centre of happiness is something
to hope for and something to love.
Everywhere endeavor to be useful, and
everywhere you will be at home.
Hath any wronged thee. Be bravely revenged ; slight it, and the work's begun; forgive it, and 'tis finished. He is below himself that is not above an injury.
Keep up the habit of being respected, and
do not attempt to be more amusing and
agreeable than is consistent with the preservation of respect.-
Bememberthat every person, however low,
has rights and feeUng. In all contentions let
peace be rather your objeot than triumph;
value triumph'only as a means of peace.
Nothing teaches patience like a garden.
You may go around and watch the opening
bud from day to day, but It takes its own
time, and you cannot urge it on faster than
it will. If forced, it is only torn to pieces.
All the best results of a garden, like those of
life, are slowly but regularly progressive, affording great pleasure to those who can take
pride In it.
When you meet with neglect, let it arouse
you to exertion; Instead of mortifying your
pride, set about lessening those defects which
expose you to neglect, and Improve those excellencies which command attention and
respeot.
An exchange says that salt In a kerosene
lamp is a great saving m oil. Fill the lamp
half full of common salt, then fill up with
oil. It burns with a clear flame, and Is a
saving of more than twenty-live per eent. It
will not cost mnch to try It.
Praise, when judiciously bestowed, tends to
encourage every one in the pursuit of excellence.
A man in Indiana sold his cooking stove
-the other day to take his family to the circus_
What's victuals compared to fun.
I