The Sauk Centre Herald (Sauk Centre, Minnesota), 1867-09-19

              """"""'■■wwwwwwwWMWWwwwWWwwwwwWBBtW^ i iriiinrr.il - -V, TQwOTjOBiB
f^-V-VVVf
■a———
^••t>9V'tt4
■■ «••••♦•• IVAVAVA, •VAVA'AVSa•^B^p^E^B^HHBBjBBBSEBBSIH^SiSlHBHH^B^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^B ••»♦•• WHiHWBByMaWBMBMHMBI
VOLUME I.
SAUK CENTRE, MINNESOTA, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1867.
NUMBER 16.
MUt ^rntfe §mtxt WwM.
PUBLISHED   EVEEY   THURSDAY   MORNING,
-A.t   8ank Centre,   Miinn.,
•BY J. H. & S. SIMONTON.
jgtjf Office corner Third and Seventh streets,
one block west of the Sauk Centre House.
Subscription:
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR  IN  ADVANCE.
Rates of Advertising:
| 1 w
2w|
3w  | 3m | 6m |   ly
1 Square
1100
1251
1 50 1   3 50 |   6 00 | 10 00
2      "
| L50
2 001
_2J50|   -T00I   8 00 1 15 00
3
| 2 00
275]
3 50 |   5 50 |i0 00 |18 00
14 column
|300
'4001
5 00 1   7 00 | 12 00 1 20 00
A     "
|5 00
6 50|
8 00| 10 00 120 00 |40 00
l       "
1800
10001
12 00 |20 00 |40 00 175 00
Legal advertisements 75 cents per sqJiare for
the first Insertion, and SJ14 cents per square
for each subsequent insertion.
Special place advertisements inserted at
rates agreed upon.
Yearly advertisers to pay quarterly. '
Strangers must pay in advance, or give satisfactory reference.
JOB PRINTING
of all kinds executed on short notice in the
best style.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
V. H. MINER. '   H. WREN.
MTiner  &c Wren,
Attorneys and  Counselors at Law, Notaries
Public and Conveyancers,
Special attention  given to proceedings in
Bankruptcy in the United States Courts.
Sauk Centre,        -        -        Minnesota.
Office over the Post Office.
TTkR; B. R. PALMER,
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON.
*3~ Residence near the Mill, Sauk Centre. "6S>
SET. L.- GORDON. L. W. COLLINS.
• Grorcloii &; Collin®,
A 11 o r n- ey s   at   Laiv,
St. Cloud, Stearns County, Minnesota
«S» Particular attention given to- business
in adjoining counties,
TOnriLLIAM J. PARSONS,
;"   ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Saint Germahie street, over Burbank Bros.,
. St. Cloud, Minnesota.
CHAS. WALKES,
Attorney, at Lav
R. P. EDSON,
Attorney at Law and
Notary Public.
ESclson'•'&; Walker,
.   REAL ESTATE AGENTS,
Office over Philadelphia Store on Third street,
' "Sauk Centre^ Stearns County, Minnesota.
Business Property, Houses and Lots, Farms,
Farming Lands, etc., etc., boughtandspid*©**-
commission.
-' ATTaSrlTON!
is called to tlie fact that our facilities for making o»t Pre-emptioh papers and for locating
and entering Government Land" with Cash,
Scrip or Land-.Warrants,' are unsurpassed by
any office-west of St. Cloud. A large assortment of Town Plots for the use of seekers of
Claims on hand and kept constantly corrected by correspondence with the Land Office.
We have in our hands for sale some of the
finest Farms and Farming Lands in' this
uppor country.
-BUSINESS   CARDS.
ALOON AND BAKERY.
O. M. RENNOE, Proprietor.
Main  Street,  Sauk  Centre,   Minnesota.
Bread', Cakes, Pies, Ac, always on hand. Hot
Coffee and Meals at all hours.   Good
Wines and Liquors and flic best
brands of Cigars.
J. WHITEFIELD,
House &; Sign. Painter,
Graining, Gla'zing, Paper Hanging, Ac, done
with neatness and on reasonable terms.
Work warranted equal in quality to that
agreed upon or no charges made. .63- Pafeii
Shop next door to Thomas & Co'-s.
Sauk Centre, Minn., June 5,1887.
J
OHN CHRISTGAU,
Boot <&■  Shoe Malter,
Main Street, Sauk Centre, Minn.,
A complete stock of Boots and Shoes kept
constantly on hand, and made to order on
short notice.   Good fits warranted.
Repairing  promptly  done,  at reasonable
prices. - All kinds of Shoemaker's Tools for
sale.
AND OFFICE.
-((AGENCY.
& REAL  ESTATE
T-S".  H.   Miner,
Lands sold on commission. Farms composed of Prairie, Meadow and Timber Land
for sale.
Persons desiring to enter Land, with Cash,
Scrip  or  Land Warrants, or to file Pre-
Emptlon claims, can do so at my office
and avoid the time and expense of
a trip to St. Cloud.
Office over  the  Post Office,  Sauk  Centre,
Minnesota.
P. EDSON
Is Agent for sound and reliable
FIRE,   LIFE,    ACCIDENTAL    LIFE   AND
LIVE STOCK IJSSURANE COMPANIES.
He insures Live  Stock  against  Death and
Theft, in the Hartford Live Stock Insurance
Company—the  soundest and  only reliable
Live Stock Company on this continent.
N.
H. MINER,
From the Atlantic Monthly.
THE BLUE   AND   THE GRAY.*
By the flow of the inland river,
Whence the fleets of. Iron have fled,
Where the blades of the grave-grass quiver
Asleep are the ranks of the dead;—
Under the sod and the dew,
Waiting the judgment day;
Under the one, the Blue;
Under the other, the Gray.
These in the roblngs of glory,
' Those in the gloom of defeat,
AU wlth-the battle-blood gory,.
In the dusk of eternity meet;
Under the sod and the dew,
Waiting the judgment day;
Under the laurel, the Blue;
Under the willow, the Gray.
From the silence of sbrroful hours
The desolate mourners go,
Lovingly laden with flowers
Alike for the friend and the foe ;—■
Under the sod and the dew,
Waiting the judgment day;
Broidered with gold, the Blue;
.  Mellowed with gold, the Gray.
So when the Summer calleth,
On forest and field of grain
With an equal murmer falleth
The cooling drip of the rain;
Under the sod and the dew,
Waiting the judgment day;
Wet with the rain, tne Blue;
Wet with the'roin, the-Gray.
Sadly, but nofwith upbraiding,
- The generous deed was done;
In the storm of the years that are fading,
No braver "battle was won;
Under the sod and the dew'
Waiting the, judgment day;
Under the blossoms the Blue,
Under the garlands, the Gray.
No more shall'the war-cry sever,
Or the winding rivers be red;
They banish our anger forever
when they laurel the graves of our dead!
Under the sod and the. dew,"
Waiting the judgment day;.
Love and tears for the Blue,
Tears and love for the Gray.
*"- The women of Columbus, Mississippi;
animated by nobler sentiments than are
many of their sisters, have shown themselves
impartial in their offerings made to the memory of the dead. They strewed -flowers alike
on the graves of the confederates and of the
National soldiers."—[New York Tribune.
p^Bamj.
THE KIND HEARTED   TANNER.
Insurance Agent,
Sauk Centre,        -        -        Minnesota,
Represents the soundest and most reliable
Fire, Life and Accident Insurance Companies of the Eastern and  Western
States.   Office over the Post Office.
The following incident is so beautiful
and touching, it should be read in every household in the country: It develop es the true active principle of kindness, how many erring mortals, making his first step in crime, might be redeemed by the exercise of the sublime"
trait in the character of the kind heart-:
ed Quaker;   __,	
—William Savery, an eminent minister
among the Quakers, was a tanner by
trade. One night a quantity ,of hides
were stolen from his tannery, and he
had reason to believe that the thief was
a quarrelsome drunken fellow, called
John Smith. Next week the following
advertisment- appeared in the village
newspaper :
" Whoever stole a quantity of hides
on the fifth of this month, is informed
that the owner has a sincere desire to
be his friend. If poverty tempted him
to this false step, the owner will keep
the whole transaction a secret and will
put him in the way of .obtaining money
by means more likely to bring him
peace of mind."
This singular advertisment attracted
considerable attention, but the culprit
alone knew who had made the kind
offer. When he read it his heart melted within him, and he was filled with
sorrow for what he had done. A few
nights afterwards as the tanner.'s family were retiring to rest, they heard a
timid knock, and when the door was
opened there stood John Smith, with
a load of hides on his shoulders. Without looking up he said, " I have brought
these back, Mr. Savery; where shall I
put them"?"
" Wait till 1 get a lantern, and I will
go to the barn with thee," he replied,
" then perhaps thou wilt come in, and
tell me how this happened."
As soon as they were .gone out, his
wife prepared some hot coffee, and put
pies and meat on the table. When they
returned from the barn, he» said,
" Neigbor Smith, I thought some hot
supper would be good for thee."
He turned his back towards her, and
did not speak. After leaning against
the fire place in silence a few moments,
he said in a choked voice ; •' It is the
first time I ever stole anything, and I
have felt very bad about it. I took to
drink and then to quarreling, and every body gives me a kick. You are the
first man that has ever offered me a
helping hand. My wife is sickly, and
my children are starving. You have
sent them many a meal. God bless you!
but here are the hides. This is the
first time I was ever a thief."
"Let it be the last, my friend," replied the Quaker. Promise me that
thou wilt not drink any intoxicating
liquor for a year, and .1 will employ
thee to-morrow on good wages."
The poor fellow tried to eat and
drink, but the food seemed to choke
him. He bowed his head on the table
and wept like a child. John entered
into his employ the next day, and remained with him many years, a sober,
honest and steady man.
AN INCIDENT IN ACTOR'S LIFE,
The play was a comedy. The chief
actor was a favorite one, and the theatre was crowded. The curtain drew up,
and, amidst a burst of applause, the hero made his appearance. He had hardly uttered twenty words, when it strucK
me that something was the matter with
him. The play was- a boisterous comedy of the old school, and required considerable of spirit and vivacity in the
actors to sustain it properly ; but in this
man there was none ; he walked and
talked like a person in a dream ; his
best point's he passed over without appearing to notice them; and,all through,
he appeared quite unfitted for his part.
His smile was ghastly, laugh hollow
and unnatural, and frequently he would
stop suddenly in his speech and let his
eye wander vacantly over the audience.
Even when, in his character of a silly husband, he had to suffer himself to
be kicked about by the "young rake of
the comedy, and afterwards to behold
that careless individual making love to
his wife, and eating his supper while he
was shut up in a closet, from! whence
he could not emerge, his contortions
of ludicrous wrath, which had never
before failed to call down plenty of applause, were now such dismal attempts
to portray the passion, that hisses were
audible in various parts of the theatre.
The audience were fairly out of temper,
and several inquisitive individuals indulged in inquiries as to the extent of
potatiorls he.had indulged in that evening. A storm of sibilation and abuse
now fell round the ears of the devoted
actor, and not content with verbal insult, orange peel and apples flew upon
the stage.
He stopped, and turned to the shouting crowd. I never saw such misery in
a human contenance. His face was
worn and haggard, and large tears rolled down his painted cheeks. I saw his
lips quiver with inward agony, I saw
his bosom heave with convulsions of
suppressed emotion, and his whole mien
betoken such depth of anguish and distress that"the most ruthless heart must
have throbbed with pity.. The audi-
enceiwas moved, and by degrees the
clamor of invective subsided into a solemn "silence, while he stood near the
footlights, a spirit of dejection. When
all was calm, he spoke in a voice broken
with sobs that seemed to rend his bosom, proceeded fo offer his explanation :
"Ladies and gentlemen," said he,
V though in my acting to night I am
conscious of meriting your displeasure,
in one thing you do me wrong, I am
not intoxicated. Emotion alone, and
that of the most painful kind, has caus
ed me to fulfil my part so badly. My
wife died only a few short hours ago,
and I left her side to fulfil my unavoid--
able engagement here. 'If I have not
pleased you, I iihppre of you to forgive
me. I loved her, grieve for her, and if
misery and anguish can excuse a fault,
I bear my  apology —here I"
He placed his hand upon his heart
and stopped, and a burst of tears relieved his momentary paroxysm of grief.
The audience was thorougoly affected, and an honest burst of sympathy
made the walls tremble. Women wept
loudly, and strong men silently; and,
during the remainder of the evening,
his performance was scarcely audible,
through the storm of applause by which
the crowd sought to soothe the poor
fellow's wounded feelings.
There was something very melancholy in the thought of that wretched
man coming from the bed of death, to
don gay attire, and titter studied witticisms for the amusement of a crowd,
not one of who dreamed of the anguish
that lay festering under the painted
cheek and the stage smile. And in the
great theatre of life, how many are
there around us like that poor actor,
smiling gaylyat the multitude, while at
home lies sorrow, whose shadows are
ever present - with them in busy places.
"WHAT A   LITTLE   BOY   THOUGHT
ABOUT THINGS.
THE FLORIDA REEFS.
E
DWARD DREBLOW,
Cabinet Maker,
Main street, Sauk Centre, Minnesota.
Keeps constantly on hand a complete stock
of Furniture, Coffins, Ac
AU orders will receive prompt attention.
New York lemonade is described as
"a delectable compound of croton,
molasses drippings and bruised lemons," and is dealt out by the gallon to
crowds of boys and girls at the rate of
one, two and three cents per glans.
An editor referring to an air-tight
coffin, says, " No person having once
tried one of these coffins will ever use
any other."
A writer gives  the following interesting account of the Florida Reefs :
These reefs are built up by an insect
that begins to work on the ground in
water of twelve or fifteen fathoms deep,
and he cannot live unless he has the
constant action of the open sea upon
him, so that he stops at the height of
high tide. By numerous experiments
it has been ascertained that the coral
builder constructs at about the rate of
half an inch in a century ; but to ei r at
all it is best to err on the safe side.
Agassiz doubles his estimate in his calculations; making it an inch in a century. Now, outside of the Florida Keys
there is a long reef with an average
height of seventy feet, which therefore
must have been began 7,000 years ago,
1,000 years before Adam. Second, the
Keys themselves are nothing but an
inner reception of the same sort of coral reefs, of at least the same average
height; and the builders must have finished them before they began the outside reef, as appears from the necesity
of having the open sea, and from the
fact tnat there are "none outside, of the
one we have mentioned above. The
Keys, therefore, swell the record to
fourteen thousand years. Next tve
have the shore bluff of the main land,
which is also of the same coral construction, and which oarries the earth's record above twenty thousand years.
Moreover, there-are, as you go,inland,
seven well-defined and, of course, successive coral reefs, which, added to the
foregoing, would make the work severity thousand years old. And Professor
Agassiz regards this as a very moderate
estimate.       -?ife§
A am a little boy about so many
years old; don't know whether I'm a
■good little boy, but I'm afraid not, for
I sometimes do wicked things, and
once I cut sister's kitten's tail off with
the choppin' knife, and told her a big
dog came along ahd bit it off and swallowed it down before poor Kitty could
soy Jack Robinson, and sister said she
was sorry.and it must have been a very
|naughiy dog, but my mother didnlt
believe me and said she was- afraid I
had told a lie, and" I'm afraid I had ; so
then she asked me if I knew where
liars went to ? and I said yes : that they
went to New York and wrote for newspapers ; she said no—they went to the
bad place where was' not-hin'- but a lake
bf fire and brimstun', and she asked
me if I would like to go there, and I
said no, for I didn't think there'd be
much skatin' and slidin' on that lake,
and the boys couldn't snowball each
other on shore, and she said it was
more than that, just as though -that
wasn't enough, for I don't think they
can play- base ball huther; then she
asked me if I wouldn't like to be a
nangel and have a harp, and I said no I
I'd rather be a stage driver and have a
big drum, for I couldn't play on t'other
thing. So I shouldn't like to be a nan-
gel, for their wings must be in the way
when they go swimmin' and play tag
and leapfrog; and besides it must be
hard to fly when one ain't used to it.
But it would be jolly to be a stage driver and have a long whip and touch up
the leaders, and say g'lang there, what
are ye doin' on I I should like that
much better'n flyin'; and then mother
said that there was a dreadful stage of
sin, and brother Bob hollered and said
that he guessed I was on it, and then
she whipped us and sent us to bed
without any supper; but I didn't care
about supper, for' they hadn't nothin'
but bread and butter fox tea, and Bob
and I got up and he lifted me in at the
pantry window, and we got a mince-
pie and a whole hat full of doughnuts,
and they thought it was the cook that
stole 'em, and sent her away the next
day, and Bob said he was glad of it for
she didn't make good pies and the
doughnuts wasn't fried enough, and
semetimes I do swear, for I said by
golly the other day, and sister heard
me, and she told mother and mother
said I was a bad boy and would bring
her gray hairs to the grave, and she
whipped me, but I don't think it did
her gray hairs any good, and it hurt
me, and when I got up stairs I said gol
darn it, but I said it so she didn't hear
me, and when she asked me if I didn't
think I was very wicked, I said I was
afraid I was, and I was sorry for it and
would do so no more, and then- she
said I was a good little boy, and told
me about George Washington who cut
down the apple tree, and was caught
at it, and said he did it with his little
hatchet, just as though I hadn't heard
all about it before, and didn't always
think he was a big stupid for cuttin'
wood when they had a hired man about
the house, and dullin' his little hatchet,
and besides it would have been a great
deal jollier to let the tree be so he
could have stole apples off in the fall, I
don't care if he was the Father of his
Country he wasn't smart, and I'll bet
you the boys in our school would cheat
him out of his eye-teeth swoppin' jack-
knives and ' could lick him and not
hardly try, and I don't think he was
very healthy either, for I never saw a
good little boy that wasn'-t always sick
and had the mumps and measles, and
the scarlet fever, and wasn't a coughin'
all the while, and hadn't to take castor
oil and tarwater, and couldn't eat
cherries, and didn't have to have his
head patted till the hair was rubbed
off by everybody that came to his mother's, and he asked how old he was, and
who died to save sinners, and what he
had been studyin' at school, and how
far he'd got, and-lots of conundrums,
had to have his catechism;' no I
shouldn't pke to be a good little boy,
I'd just asHief be a nangel and be done
with it, but I don't think I ever shall
be a good little boy and other people
don't think so too,, for I wasn't never
called a .good little boy but. once and
that was when Uncle John asked me
where I stood in my class, and I told
him I was next to the head, and he"
said that was right and he gave me a
quarter, and then he asked how many
boys there was in my class, and I said
there was only two, myself and a little
girl, and then he wanted me -to give
him back the quarter, and I would not,
and'he ran after me, and stumbled
over a chair and broke his cane, and
hurt himself, and he's been lame ever
since, and I am glad of it for he isn't
my father and hasn't any right to lick
me, for I get enough of^that to home
and the quarter wasn't aNgood one either. I don't like Uncle John, and I
guess he knows it for he says I ain't
like any of the rest of the family, and
he expects I'tt go to sea and be a pirate
instead of a respectable member society, for I'd rather be a pirate than a
soap boiler like him, and I don't oare
if he is rich, it's a nasty business, and I
shan't have to be a pirate either for one
can make lots of money without that,
and they're always talking'to me about
being rich and respectable and goin' to
Congress, and being President, and all
that sort of thing, but I don't want to
be President; there's Lincoln he was
President, and I guess he's sorry for it
now, and there's Andy Johnson, I
guess he don't like it much either, and
a feller doesn't have to be respectable
to be a Congressman, there's John
Morrissey he's made money, and he's
gone to Congress, and he has nice curly
hair and nice   clothes   and • he don't
do any work either, I shouldn't like to
be a fighter like he is, for I shouldn't
like to have my nose smashed as his is,
for it looks just like my mother's big
sqnash did after the cow bit a chunk
out of it, but I should like-to have nice
curly hair, nice clothes and lots of money, and a cane, and have people look
at me when I walk -down the street,
and say that's him, and I don't care
who knows it, for I don't want to be a
soap boiler like Uncle John, nor a tanner like Uncle Hiram, and all the good
people I know of are soap boilers'or
tanners, except Mr. Stebbins and he's
a school teacher, and that's worse than
either, for he has to board round
amongst the neighbors, and they never
put apple sass on the table when Jiu's
at the house, .1 heard Mrs. Spriggins
tell Aunt Polly so, they wait till he's
gone to spellin' school or to see the
minister's wife and talk about rheuma-
tiz and red flannel and hot poultices
for sore chests, and after he's gone
they bring out the nice things and eat
'em by themselves, with lots of pickles.
He don't get anything but bread and
cookin' butter and stale doughnuts
that are left over from Saturday's ba-
kin', oh, I know how them things are
done, but there's Bob call'n me and
we're goin' a bird-nesting, for I know
where there's a yeller bird's nest chuck
full of eggs, mother says its cruel and
the birds don't like it, and that I
wouldn't like to have my eggs stole if I
was a bird, and I don't'think I should,
but I ain't a bird you know, and that
makes a difference, and if you want to
print this you can, for nex to bein' a
stage driver and a pirate I'd like to be
an Editor, for you fellers don't have to
tell the truth, and you can go to the
circus without payin'.
JOHN PAUL.
Frightening the Wrong Passenger.
Some years ago when the old steamboat Ivanhoe, Captain Jimmy German,
used to run from Savannah to Augusta,
the incident we are about to relate occurred, and was witnessed by our reporter. When the Ivanhoe arrived at
Augusta, a countryman was seen standing on the wharf, dressed in homespun
his coat fitting so tightly across his
shoulders as to raise his arms several
inches higher than nature intended
them to hang. His appearance generally would indicate that he was directly
from the Okefonoke, and for the first
time in his life, was gazing upon things
pertaining to civilization. He was what
our boatmen ,termed a " comical customer." He had never seen a steamboat, nor dreamed of a locomotive.
The appearance of the bridge seemed
to be more than he could realize as a
fact, and the steamboat unmanned him.
Our boatmen drew him into conversation, and were as much amused with
his remarks as his appearance. They
got him on board of the steamer, and
thought they had secured fun enough
for several trips. One of the officers of
the boat was peouliarly fond of a practical Jose, and deemed the opportunity
too good to be lost. He assured his
comrades that he had a plan by which
he intended to maice Johnny Green
jump overboard. He accordingly
brought out a hideous loosing' bowie-
Knife, which was in his possession, and
assuming a perfect swashbucKler air,
approached the countryman saying—
" I've found you at last, my man—I've
been loosing for you," and "throwing
himself into a position indicating an
intention to mage a bloody assault, and
no sooner got within arms length of
the enemy than he found himself
stretched upon the deoK, his Knife in
possession of the foe, who fell upon him
and gave him a merciless beating, so
disabling him as to render it necessary
for him to taice his bed and Keep it.
When the countryman was satisfied
that he had given him enough, he arose
amidst the astonished looKers on, who
had so mistaken his character and exclaimed--" Gentlemen, is there any
other man in your boat a looking for
me 1" They answered him • there was
not, and allowed him to leave fully
satisfied that they got the worst of the
joke.    i-KK.^
THE RAPID GROWTH OF LONDON.
The Builder asks a curious question—
" How long will London be habitable?". The enormous town is increasing so rapidly as to threaten to seriously interfere with the comforts of its inhabitants. Already the prevalence of
a southeast wind bears to the vicinity
of the parks the vast canopy of smoke
and the vitiated atmosphere of nine
miles of buildings. As the circumference of the vast city is extended, this
evil is exaggerated with each annual addition to the space built over. The
slight remains of vegetation are daily,
diminishing. More than six hundred
million cubic feet of carbonic acid gas
are expired in London in the course of
twenty-four hours by human' beings
alone. This is irrespective of smoke,
of the gaseous products of combustion,
and of all other sources Whereby the
air is vitiated. This quantity of carbonic acid renders twenty times its weight
of atmospheric air unfit for the support
of life. On a perfectly calm day, when
the respiration of London hangs within the limits of the metroplitan districts
the polluted atmosphere, were it possible to press it down upon the streets,
would fill the whole roadway to a depth
pf between eight and nine feet. This
startling quantity of poisoned air London must daily exchange for fresh. As
to .smoke, it may be mentioned that on
an average 14,000 tons of coal are daily
consumed in the capital, .a great portion of which is cast into the atmosphere in the partially volatilized form
of smoke. The increased difficulty of
living in London during the summer-
becomes every year more oppressive,
and there can be no question that the
actual experiment of how large a city
can be made, will not require many
more years to solve.
—A terrible affair ooenrred at .Marion, Arkansas, on Friday, the 29th,
Bradley, an overseer on Key's plants
ion, ordered arnegro to do some work.
The negro peremptorily refused. Bradley attempted' to chastise him. The
negro resisted and others interfered.
Bradley drew a pistel and fired, killing
a negro and a negress. The negroes
became infuriated, Bradley fled not
knowing4 he had killed the negress.
At his instance, two negroes concerned
in the attack on him were arrested on
Saturday, and brought before a magistrate at -Marion. During the trial one
negro called Bradley a liar several times*
when he strucK him. . The negroes set'
upon him. He drew a pistol, fired upon them, killing two, then turned and
fled, and has not been heard from
since. ,'."*
VARIETIES.
Formerly, when negroes voted in
New-Jersey, a candidate sent an old negro
preacher two barrels of nice potatoes. Next
meeting day he exhorted his hearers on the
duty of voting, and the difference between
whigs and democrats. He told the story of
the receipt of the potatoes, and added, " My
bredren, some tell you to vote for de Whigs,
some tell you to vote for de Democrats, but I
tell yon to vote where you ge t de 'taters!"
A good story is told of two young
ladles who were visiting some friends in the
eastern part bf Maine. One day a young
gent took them out to ride. Of course they
must make a display of their rural knowledge, discussing volubly on various objects
as they rode along. Coming in sight of a
field in which some grain was In the bunch
and eovered with hay caps, one exclaimed:
" O, what a funny grave yard I" to which the
other replied: "O, you fool, that's nothing
but a flock of sheepl"""
Judge a man by his actions, a poet
by his eye, an idler by his finger, a lawyer by
his leer, a player by his strut, a boxer by his
sinews, an Irishman by bis swagger, an Englishman by his rotundity, a Scotchman by
his shrug, a justice by his frown, a great man
by his modesty, an editor by his coat, a, tailor
by bis agility, a fiddler by his elbow, and a
woman by her neatness.
They say—ah, well! suppose they do!
But can they prove the story true ?
Suspicion may arise from naught
But malice, envy, want of thought;
Why count yourself among the " they"
And whisper all you hear them say?
A traveler, stepping in at an inn
down East, was asked how the business men
in New York were getting along,
" Oh,"; answered the traveler, " many ot
them have got upon their legs again."
"How so; has trade got brisk?"
"Oh, no; but many who rode In their
coaches have been obliged to learn to walk."
During the war, a lady passing from
cot to cot through the words of a hospital,
was shocked to hear one fellow laugh at her.
She stopped to reprove the wretched patient.
" Why, madam, says ne, "you have given
me a tract on the sin of dancing, when i have
got both legs shor off."
A gentleman who entered a barber's
shop to get shaved, was recommended by
the operator to raise a moustache. " It is impossible," replied the gentleman. " Oh, no," '
insisted the tonsorial artist—44 Oh, no! I am
certain, sir, you could raise a moustache—a
light summer moustache!"
The Methodist says : " Supposing all
the trails worn this summer at the fashionable watering places were cut off even with'
the ankles, how many poor children would
they clothe? How much would women rise
in the estimation of men?" An Innocent
exchange remarks: " Suppose your, aunt was
your unole, what then ? "
An Editor Tight.—We believe it is
rare that an editor indulges in a drop, but
when they do their readers are sure to find
them Out. A cotemporary was called, upon
to record a "melancholy event" at a time
when his head was rather heavy, and did it
after the following manner:
" Yesterday morning, at 4 o'clock, P. M., a
man with a heel In the hole of his stocking
committed arsenic by swallowing a dose of
suicide. The inquest of the verdict returned
a jury that the deceased came to the facts in
accordance with his death. He leaves a
child and six small wives to lament the end
of his untimeiy loss. In death we are in the
midst of life." v]
A favorite amusement of the inhibi-
tants of Luxemburg, is eat races. Each
worthy burgher takes his cat in, a bag two
miles' from town; at a given signal they all
shake their bags, the cats leap out, scared to
death, and run home as fast as they can go.
The first cat that reaches the town gate Is" the
Winner.
An illustration of the power of imagination was given at Portland, Me., the
other day, when several express and truckmen were overcome and sickened by a supposed stench from a box containing a neatly
carved Indian for some tobacconist's; sign,
but which they imagined to be a coffin containing a corpse.
A farmer in Missouri,, on being
asked the number of hisohildren, hesitated,
and referred the questioner to his wife, and
she replied "ten;" but when, in the'eourse
of conversation, the farmer was asked as to
the number of hogs he possessed, he replied
promptly, " seventy-one."
Men's arguments often prove nothing but their wishes.