The Sauk Centre Herald (Sauk Centre, Minnesota), 1868-04-02

              VOLUME L
SAUK CENTRE, MINNESOTA, THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1868.
NUMBER i$.
9ft* $mk €mttt §rati
--.■ i i ■    i     ..
FUBUSHED . BVERY  THURSDAT MORNISQ,'
A.t   Sauls Centre,   Minn.,
BY J. H. A S. SIMOMTON.
*S* Office corner Third and Seventh streets,
one block west of the Sauk centre House.
Subscription ■
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR IN ADVANCE.
Rates ot Advertising i     *
•jlwl 2wf?y'|  lm|3m | 6ml ly
xJftLJ
a " \
1 00 |   125|   160|   175|  825|   5 50 | 10 00
1 50 )   200|   250|  3 00 |  550|   900|15 00
S   "   J 200 |   2 75 |   3 50|   125
6 75 | 10 50 | 18 00
>^col|300l 876|  460|   525
8 25 | 12 00 | 20 00
% "   | 5 00 |   « 50 |  7 75|   850
14 00|20 00t«M»
1   "    | 8 00 | 10 00 | 12 00 { IS 00
25 00 | 40 00 |75 00
Legal advertisements 75 cents per square for
the first insertion, and 37% cents per square
for each subsequent Insertion.
Special place advertisements Inserted at
rates agreed upon. i- *
Yearly advertisers to pay quarterly.
Strangers must pay ln advance, or give satisfactory reference.
JOB PRINTISTG
of all kinds executed on short notice in the
best style.
Sauk Centre Cards.
IV. H. MINER,
Attorney   and    Counselor   at Law, Notary
Public and Conveyancer,
Will attend to any business pertaining to a
general Law Practice, make Collections and
promptly remit proceeds Draft Conveyances
and Contracts, Enter Government Lands
with Cash or Warrants, make Pre-Emption
Claims and attend to Contested Land Cases'.
Office over the Post Office, Sauk Centre,
Minnesota.
c
HAS. WALKEE,
Dealer in Real Estate,
Buying and Selling Land on Commission.
J9- Office over the Post Office, With N. H.
Miner.
mar26tf
y~|R. B. R. PALMEB,
PHYSICIAN db SURGEON,
And Examining Surgeon for Pensions,
Mr Residence near the Mill, Sauk Centre, "d.
N.
H. MINER,
Insurance Ag-enti
Sauk Centre, -        - Minnesota.
Represents the soundest and most reliable
Fire, Life and Accident Insurance CoBfc"
panles of tbe Eastern and  Western
States.   Office over the Post Offioe.-
OILEIARD SALOON,
A. DE GROAT, Proprietor.
Third street, Sauk Centre, Minnesota.
Has first class Pheian A Coi lender Billiard
Tables.
Choice Wines, Liquors, Ale, Porter and
Cigars.	
W   J. WHITEFIELD,
House &i Sigftt Painter,
Graining, Glazing, Paper Hanging, Ac, done
with neatness and on reasonable terms.
Work warranted, .equal in .quality to that
a rreed upon or do' charges made. *3- Faint
ahop next door to Thomas A Co's.
Sauk Centre, Minn., June 5.1867.
OHN CHRISTGAU,
Boot «fc Shoe Maker,
Main Street, Sauk Centre, Minn.,
A complete stock of Boots and Shoes kept
constantly on hand, and made to order on
short notice.   Good fits warranted.
Repairing promptly done,  at reasonable
prices.   All kinds of Shoemaker's Tools for
'sale.	
C. L. ORCUTT,
HOUSE,    SIGN,    AND    CARRIAGE
I» A. INTER,
Paper Hanger Gralner and Glazier
Shop over E. E. West's Wagon Shop,
SAUK CENTRE,      - M    ,      -      MINK.
All work done promptly and in the neatest
manner. 6m42
JSAUK CENTRE HOUSE,
(General Stage Office,)
SAUK CENTRE,       -       -      MINN
m. F. BAB.JSUM, Proprietor,
Has been thoroughly refitted and furnished
throughout, under Its new management.
The comfort of guests will at all times be
made the special care of the proprietor, and
no expense or pains will be spared to give
entire satislketlon to boarders and travelers.
Excellent 8 tabling attached to the premises. " E. P. BARNTTM.
St. Cloud Cards.
T)R. A. PELHAM,
Surgeon   Dentist,
Permanently located m  St.  Cloud.
Office
Broker's Block.
Dr. Pelham will visit Sauk Centre February
17th, and remain 18 days. Having had fourteen years experience In the dental profession, he feels confident of giving satisfaction
to all requiring his services. All work warranted and at moderate prices., __
Edward O. Hamlin
—HAS RESUMED—
The Practice of\Law
IN ST. CLOUD, MINN.
Special attention given   to proceedings in
Bankruptcy in United States Courts.
Office ln Aldcn's brick building, up stab4*
Oct. 1,1867. p«10-6m
H. L. GORDON. I,, W. COii.INS.
Gordon Ac- Collins,
Attorneys  at   Law,
St. Cloud, Stearns County, Minnesota
*&• Particular at ten tion given to business
in adjoining counties.
>
¥¥/"ILLIAM J. PARSONS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Saint Germaine street, over Burbank Bros.
St. Clond, Minnesota.
BANK 0F_$T* CLOUD
GENERAL  BANKING  AND  exchange* §tjs i ness transacted.
Gold and Silver,
Land Warrants, College Scrip and Foreign
Exchange bought and sold. Particular Attention given to COLLECTIONS, and Proceeds Promptly Remitted-.
Office open from 9 to 12 a. m., aud 1 to 5
p. list. Germaine Street, St. Cloud; Minn.
J. G. SMITH, Cashier.
St. Cloud Jan. 30.1868.     ^_	
RUDOLPH   SH(ENEMANN,
WATCHMAKER,
St. Germaine Street,
ST. CLOUD,      -      -      -     MINK.
A   GOOD assortment of Watches, Clocks,
Jewelry, Silver and Plated ware always
on bad.   Galvanizing done.  Repairing neatly done and warranted for one year. ly
Alarge lot of Spectacles for sale.
I^ity restaurXnt.
JOSEPH GOYETTE, Proprietor,
Washington Avenue, St. Claud, Minnesota.
A ladies' and gentlemen's Ice Cream Saloon has been fitted up in flrst class style on
the second floor. Ice cold Lemonade, and
Soda Water flavored with all kinds of syrups.
Fresh and Canned Fruits, Confectionery,
and Nuts of all kinds.
Hot Meals, Lunch, Coffee, Tea and Pastry
furnished to order.
HSW
?Mt*JJ.
Dare and Do.
Dare to think though bigots frown,
Dare in words your thoughts express'
Dare to raise when you fall down,
Dare the wronged and scorned to bless.
Dare from custom to depart,
Dare the priceless pearl possess,
Dare to wear It next your heart.
Dare, when sinners curse, to bless.
Dare forsake What you deem -wrong,
Dare to walk ln wisdom's way,
Dare to give where gifts belong,
Dare God's .precepts to Obey.
Do what cohsclence says Is right,''
Do what reason says Is best,
Do with willingmind and might.
Do j our duty and be blest.
f¥
Written for the Herald.
BEM1NISCENOES.
A Trip to tbe Bank Valley ln 1858.
BY THE AUTHOR.
FERGUSON:
Watchmaker
AND
w Jeweler,
SAUK CENTRE, MINN.
Watches, Clocks ahd Jewelry. carefully repaired and warranted.
M&- All work from a distance promptly at-
epded to and safely returned.
.Merchant  Tailor,
and Dealer in
Gents' Furnishing Goods,
Next door to the Sauk Valley Drug Store,.
SAUK CENTRE, MINN-
Keeps on hand a choice stock of
Cloths, Cassimeres, Tailor's Trimmings
Fashionable, and Business Suits, made to
order and in the latest styles.
Cutting done to order. dc!2m
AMERICAN HOUSE,
Corner 2d and 6th Streets,
•SAUK CENTRE,    -   -   -   -    MINN.
This Is a new, large and commodious building, fitted up ln the best style, with all the
necessary conveniences   for, the comfort of
? nests.  A large Barn, with warm and com-
ortable stabling Is connected with the House.
Travelers will find at the American House
jthe best of accommodations for both man
a»d feestst,
©A¥T© FRANKHAUSE, Proprietor.
SA:IIVX I»A.TTJL.
Flre& Marine
fSURANCE CO.,
ST. PAUL, MINN.
E
DWARD DREBLOW,
Cabinet Ikffalcer,
Main street, near the Presbyterian Ch»r<3b,
Sauk Centre, Minnesota,
3feeps constantly on hand a complete stock
of Furniture, Coffins, Ac.
All orders will receive prompt attention.
CAUK OENTRE
Liyery, Sale and Feed
STABLE.
Office on Third street, one door west of the
Printing Office.
Having our Stable completed  and well
Stocked, we are now prepared to furnish
jthose who wish, with good
Horses and Carriages or Sleighs al all times
on reasonable terms, so that
A.U can   Take a Ride.
H. DOTY A B. L. WRIGHT,
 h.      Proprietors,
JVHi.KU'oJiuN Ji, brouggt to ttite
market— by the Gallon or Barrel at St. Paul
prices, atthe '
SAUK VALLEY DRUG STORE,
T A "H/T"DC! -The finest in the market
Jj-cxlY4-jr»3, whhsn we will Job at Saint
Paul fligures, at the
SAUK VALLEY DRUG STORE,
Assets oyer
$530,000.
Insures Buildings, Merchandise and other
Property, against Loss or Damage by FIRE,
at Rates as low as ether flrst class Stook
Companies.
Particular attention given to Insurance of
Farm  Property,   Isolated  Dwellings
and their Furniture,
FOR ONE, THREE OR FIVE YEAR .
Also Inland Navigation Risks on Cargoes or
FrefyU.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS,
Theo. Borup,
J. C. Burbank,
John L, Merrlam,
W. W. Eastman,
John 8, Prince,
Horace Thompson,
Wm. Lee,
0(ohn Nichols,
Peter Berkey,
W. F. Davidson,
W. P. Murray.
Geo. L. Farwell.
B. F. Drake.
J. C. BURBANK, Pres't.
JOHN NICOLS, Vice Pres't.
S. S. EATON, See'y.
W. A. WKLLS, Gen'l Agent.
N. H. METER, Local Ag't.
SAUK CENTRE, MINN
G, P. PEAB0DY~
Wholesale Dealer ln
WINES, LIQUORS I CIGARS,
No. 107 Third Street,
St. I*aal,   Minnesota.
'•How beautiful J" was the involuntary
exclamation of more than one of our party as
we paused for a moment upon the brow of the
bluff over which the road passes from St.
Paul to St. Anthony Falls. We had halted
a moment to take a last look npon ths city
at our feet, its environing hills and the majestic river which swept swiftly, silently by,
ere we departed upon onr Journey. It was
early morning, cool and Invigorating, a
heavy dew was upon the young grass, the
air was sweet with the perfume of flowers,
and the tender foliage of the trees lent an
odor scarcely less agreeable.
Our party consisted of eight persons and
our destination was the Sauk Valley, whither we were bent ln search of "claims." There
were among ns those who had seen much of
frontier life, and others .who were Just from
the East. The latter, of course, were the ones
who contemplated the greatest achievements
in pedestrlanlsm, and as to hardships, why
they only gave a fellow an appetite to enjoy
the game which would be brought mto camp
evsty night. We should have deer, elk, bnf-
faloand all tile smaller fry In abundance.
And of course there would be narrow escapes
from wild beasts; but, Robinson Crusoe like,
we would live through it all, and upon our
return how we would thrill our friends with
horror when we told of the Grizzly who had
suddenly sprung upon us whilst we were engaged 1 n the Innocent sport of bagging the
cabs. The old she bear standing npon. her
hind legs, with her massive fore-paws resting upon onr shoulders and her hot breath
almost suffocating us, while with ominous
growls she drew ns closer and closer
ln the fatal hng, when, Just as we felt
our bones breaking beneath the terrible*
strain, we succeeded ln plunging a knife into her heart, etc.
I had never seen a prairie—at least such as
I was informed we would have to cross and
which we would In all probability reach
about the close of the fourth day.
I had read of the buffalo hunt and all Its
thrilling excitement as the hunter ln fall
chase bounded across a sea of prairie so beautiful In its garb of green. And' again, the
sublime and awe-inspiring spectacle of a fire
upon the prairie, when, far as the eye could
reach on right or left, the horizon Is marked
by a vivid line of fire, licking with forked
tongues the dun folds of wreathing smoke
which, like a funeral pall, hangs over all.
Anon Would be heard the ominous and sullen
roar of the fiery element mingling with the
snappish howl of the prairie wolf. On comes
the Are-wave with such terrific speed that
even the swift antelope and agile fox might
scarce hope to outstrip the fleet career of
flame beneath whose scorching breath, all
things withered! Was it singular that these
accounts, While they awed and thrilled, still
made me desire to witness for myself their
terrific beauty? Such, at any rate, was the
case; my youthful mind bat saw these things
fromaromantlcpoIntofHew. Having traveled safely with the narrator through countless perils unscathed, I could not but partake
of the high courage and endurance which
was ascribed to his hero, while really imagining my capability to do likewise.
Onr course during the flrst day lay through
agently undulating country agreeably diversified by prairie, oak openings and dense
bodies of timber in the distance. Our flrst
day's march ended near the town of Anoka,
then, as now, celebrated for the sobriety of its
citizens. Pitching oar tent near a wayside
inn, surrounded by beautiful groves of oak,
we partook of our first meal In the open air,
ln true nomadio style. A few prairie chickens was the result ofthe day's hunt (if it can
be called Bunting) for whioh we did not leave
the road.
Oar captain having gone into the inn to
write some letters, was shortly afterwards
asked If the horses should not be watered.
Just at that moment a weary traveler with
the Inevitable stick and bundle appeared at
the door, and in wearied accents asked for a
drink of water. What was his surprise and
indignation when before any one could reply
the captain shonted: '* No, don't give a drop."
Of coarse all who heard It, except the two,
were In a moment convulsed with nncontrol-
lable laughter, for they only understood the
mistaken application ofthe reply. The gentleman of the quill very naturally tnmed to
ascertain the cause of so much merriment,
and at the same time the doubly insulted
traveler turned upon his heel, muttering
••curses not loud but deep." He was called
upon to return and receive the apologies of
the entire company, and told that water was
as free as air, not less here than elsewhere.
Bat he felt too deeply aggrieved and was soon
lost in the shadows of night, doubtless feeling that he had met with the meanest crowd
that ever disgraced the name of civilization.
Another day bad passed without incident
worth recording, and again we encamped
beneath the umbrageous shadows of oaks.
We traveled about forty miles since* ^V1
and were very tired, ready for supper and
ready for bed.
ij "Patienc, patience!" I had occasion more
than once to say to myself during the day as
I tried to peer into the distance and get a
first glimpse of the trackless main, bat was
forced to turn to my elders and ask, I confess
rather petulantly, "Are we ever coming to
the prairie, that Is, the great prairie?"  A
laugh and " keep cool, don't worry," were the
Invariable answers to my interrogatories.
Thsy were not all so inexperienced ln prairie
life, and being much older, were less anxious
and sanguine tnan I.
I was one ofthe last to rise, and was in the
act of placing my feet upon the ground, when
a rather substantial shadow appeared ln the
opening of the tent, and wi th the hurried exclamation, " Get yonr gun; come quick, the
pigeons are thicker than the leaves of the
forest—now Is the time, my boy, to show
your skill. I was dressed in a jiffy and off,
now on a run, as some tree foiling in range
partially hid my advance, and when in an
exposed situation creeping stealthily over
the bedewed grass, and Just as I had raised
the gan to my shoulder, the more humane
feeling wonld assert its away, and my heart
would reproachfully thump against my side
as I looked upon the branches of that giant
tree, whose naked boughs had so often, in
time past, held to the breeze Its bea utiful
flattering garb of green. Now no longer
naked, for there, thick almost as the leaves
wonld have been were they not gone forever >
flattered those Innocent, dove-like creatures,
fearing no harm, conscious only of their freedom and the bright sunshine. Of coarse
many would deem all this sentimental twaddle, bat nevertheless, I experienced all and
more ofthe feeling than I will here give vent
to. My gun was lowered, but hark! what
sound was that, so sullen, seemingly so distant, yet so near. Ha! I see they have discovered in me a foe. and with one grand
swoop have left the tree, while from the
ground rise myriads. My ears are almost
deafened by the deep, dull sound as they lash
the air with their countless wings. Accompanying the pigeons were my tender
thoughts. I forgot an their beauty, all their
Innocence and with intentions most dire I
raised my gun; slam, bang went the contents of both barrels after the retreating host.
The smoke cleared, and casting my eyes upon the ground, oh, what a sight was there,
my countrymen! Thickly strewn—so thickly strewn that to move without treading upon the tender forms of the fluttering, aye
fluttering—leaves, was impossible. Disappointed,' did ypn say ? My dear sir, that does
not half express the state of my feelings—I
was overwhelmed with mortification, I was
utterly beside myself with grief. Well, why
waste time ln useless sighs when the birds
are bat a short distance ahead! So I thought,
and onward I pressed, through tangled brush,
tall weeds, rank grass and over low, swampy
ground, my body covered with a profuse perspiration, my clothes torn and reeking wet;
bat I paused not then to consider these things,
for there were the birds just in advance,
which having discerned, I moved more cautiously, crouching close to the ground as a
cat might on a similar enterprise, I was determined to let slip no opportunity which
could aid me in accomplishing my purpose.
The bushes were parted, carefully, the brambles which held me oftentimes were carefully released, dry twigs were with care avoided
or at worst gingerly tested and gently pressed by my feet. At. last the critical moment
arrives which Is to decide whether or not I
carryback to camp a "mess" of pigeons.
One, two, bang, bang says the gun, and away
go the feathered tribe all but about a dozen
which ate soon secured. Now thoroughly
tired and hungry I was about retracing my
steps when my ears were assailed by the peculiar drumming sound which the partridge
makes, I soon discerned the whereabouts of
the bird and fired. I was quite sore I had
made a good shot, the dramming had ceased
and the cause had tumbled off the log. I
won't be contradicted, now that's flat, so
don't tell me I only frightened him into silence ; no, not. a word If yon please. I believe I have handled a gun before and—well
what? Why so much fuss about nothing?
Who questions the effectiveness ofthe shot—
aye, who? Where am I, in what direction
did I come, and which way shall I tarn ln
order to extricate myself from this wilderness. In a moment, I exclaimed, "lost! lost!"
I now wished some one had been present to
question the accuracy of my aim; I would
not then have felt so utterly alone. To make
my case all the more desperate the heavens
were now obscured by clouds whioh every
moment grew darker, threatening rain. The
low, distant mutterlngs of thunder held me
spell-bound. Anon they grew loader and increased in frequency. Forked lightnings
played amid the sombre clouds, and the peals
of thunder seemed to rend the very heavens.
I had Just come to the bank of a small lake
and stood watching, in no enviable mood,
this grand marshalling of the storm king's
hosts. I had passed no lake, so I turned my
back upon it, rather with a view to seeking
shelter than in the hope of extricating myself from my unploosant predicament. The
limbs of trees and bushes malignantly, or,
not to speak too strongly, unkindly slapped
me in the face. My gun, too, must be made
the means of increasing my discomforts, for
when I had taken a step forwards the miserable twigs would reach out their devilish
hands, yielding for a moment to my onward
course, then suddenly draw back, pulling me
often to the ground; and I could almost fancy
I heard above the rustling of leaves- and
creaking noise made by the trees as the
wind madly tossed their giant tops to and
fro:—" Yon are going the wrong way, ha! ha!
ha! lost! lost! lost!"
So I wandered I knew not whither, until
the shadows of approaching night warned
me that I must prepare to remain in this
vast solitude till dawn. The ground was very
wet, but upon it in some shape I most remain
and as I oould think of none better than a
reclining posture, I gathered some small
branches and so made my coach at the foot
of a large spreading oak, when the thought
of wolves caused me to seek some more elevated position. Accordingly I climbed into
the broad spreodiag branches of the oak tree
where I found two limbs so well disposed
Father, ln the forest dim,
Be my stay I"
During the whole night I awoke but twice.
It was not until the sun peeped under the
brim of my hat that I recovered a knowledge
of my predicament. Well, after several
hours toilsome tramping, I struck, oh, Joy!
the road some five miles below onr camp.
I was shortly overtaken by a gentleman
driving a horse and buggy. He kindly offered me a seat, and I Joyfully accepted My
friends were of course glad to see me—some
were still on the hunt for the lost one when
I arrived, and who could blame them for
"poking fun" at me when they found me
safe and sound?   I did not.
[To be CoKTiinrBD.]
Entourage   Tour Own.
It is the true interest of every one
to encourage the merchants, and manufacturers, merchants and tradesmen
of his own town. He who will not do
so manifests but little regard for prosperity* of the place where he lives.
The man who invariably makes purchashes
abroad should also look abroad for employment. In order to build up and add to
the prosperity of any place, the citizens
thereof must support and encourage
each other. The property holder will
thus be benefited by the advance ofthe
value of his posessione ; the mechanics
by the erection and improvement of
stores and dwellings, and the laborer
by the increased demand of his services. If every one should go abroad
to make his purchases, trades of all
kinds would become very dull at home,
business would languish, men would
have no work, the grass would grow in
streets, and only the rich would have
any money in a very short time to purchase anything either at home or
abroacL—-Exchange.
Bct One Sabbath ik a Week.—A person being invited to go on an excursion
for pleasure on the Lord's day, replied :
" I should like an excursion very well,
but I have but one Sabbath in a week.
and I can't spare that."
This expresses an important truth in
an impressive manner. When we have
but one day in the week exclusively
devoted to the concerns of eternity,
while six are devoted- to the affaire of
time, can we spare that one day for
pleasure? It is tibia best day of the
seven. It is worth more than all the
rest. If rightly employed it will give
us a richer return. What we can earn
in six days is perishable ; but the fruits
of a well-spent Sabbath will endure forever. The Sabbath when well spent is
the highest kind of employment;" If,
therefore, you seek mere earthly pleasures, you can better afford to take any
other day in the week for, it than the
Lord's day..
" In holy duties let the day
In holy pleasures pass away;
How sweet a Sabbath thos to spend.
In hope of one that ne'er shall end!"
Hadn't  Anything   Happened*
Some years ago, so the story goes, a
farmer living not a thousand miles from
New York, gave one ol his sons some
money, and told him to go out west and
remain two years ; at the end of that
time, if he Would return to a specified
place, one of his brothers would meet
him. The young man went and returned and met his brother according
to appointment, although no comunica-
tion had taken place between them
during the time. While going home together the wanderer, after relating
some of his adventures, inquired whether anything had happened at home
since his departure for the west.
" No, not a single tiling," said the
other, "everything is just as when you
left—except that the old crow died.1*
" Indeed." said the wanderer, " is tho
old crow dead ? what killed him 7"
" Why: he ate too much meat when
the matched horses died."
" Good gracious, are tbe ''^matched
horses dead; what killed them 7"
. "Well, you see, when the house and
barn burned they overdid ^themselves
hauling water."
" Good gracious, are the. house and
barn burned down; how did Jit ^hap-
penf
" Well, you see, when daddy died
they were carrying the lights around,
and were-carele**.     '
" Good gracious ? and is daddy dead;
what was the matter with  him f"
" Welt, you see, when Sal ran away
and got married against daddy's wishes,
he just pined away and died."
"Good gracious! so nothing has>hap-
pened since I've been away?"
" No, everything is just the same."
The editor of the Louisville Journal
says, if he possessed the most valuable
things ill the world,and was about to will
them away, the following would be his
plan of distribution:
I would give to the world truth and
friendship, which are so very scarce
I would also give an additional portion of truth to lawyers and merchants.
I would give to physicians skill and
learning.
I would give to printers their pay.
To gossiping woman, good sense,
modesty, large waists, and natural
teeth.
To young sprouts and dandies, common sense, little cash and hard labor.
To old maids, good tempers, smooth
faces, little talk, and good husbands.
To old bachlors, love for virtue children and wives.
Caste—An Incident at tike Drouth.
A Hornellsville correspondent sends
to the Dansville Advertiser an unpretending naraative of a little incident
illustrative of the spirit of caste too prevalent in almost every community:
"During the scarcity of water the
past few weeks there has been manifested in our town much of human nature.
On one occasion an invalid widowed
mother sent her little daughter to several of her neighbors to procure a pail
of wather. Each one refused. She
then told the girl to go to Mrs. A.'s and
explain the necessity especially incident
to sickness, of their having water. The
child returned, saying: " Mrs. A. saya
she has none to spare and wishes you
not to trouble her again."
The mother, choked with tears, said:
" If I were rich she would not refuse;
if Mrs. B. up town should send there fi>r
water she would get it."
"I will prove that J" said a lady caller.
Suiting action to word, she donned an
old shawl and hood, transforming herself into a real Biddy, just over from
the old oountry. Taking a large tin pail
in her hand she was soon at Mrs. A.'s
door. "An. sure can ye let Mrs. B. .up
town have a pail of wather 7"
" Are you hey gfrl?"
" Yes marm, indade."
" Oh, certainly, tell Mrs. B. she can
have water at any time."
Whereupon Mrs. Aristocracy herself
seized the pail, filled it to the brim, and
handed it to Biddy, while a Miss Aristo-
that I oould Ue between them in a-half r%- oracy standing by, remarked with her
cllnlng, half sitting posture, with the trunk blandest smiles and prettiest fal setto.
of the tree for a pillow. Hanging my gun " Water tastes better when there is a
from a small limb, I lay me down, wet, hun- • scarcity of it "'
gry, and above all things, sleepy.
44 Father, guide me!   Day declines,
Hollow winds are In the pines;
Darkly waves each giant Dough
O'er the sky's lost crimson glow;
Hush'd is now the convent's bell.
Which ere while with breezy swell
From the purple mountains bore
Greeting to the sunset-shore.
Now the sailor's vesper hymn
Dies away.
Whereupon our correspondent in-
| dulges in some very appropriate reflec-
' tions as to whether the lady   that drew
the water had ever tasted of the water
j that Jesus told the woman   of Samaria
to drink."—N Y. Paper.
A false friend and a shadow attend
only when the sun shines.
Mr. PnHup, coming home late, pretty
full, finds the- walking veryjslippery,
exclaims: V-v-ery singular, whenever
water freezes, it alius freezes with the
slippery side up.   " Singular P
BEEB.-»The capital invested in twenty-
six lager breweries in the sixteenth col-7
lection district in New York city is said
to exceed $2,000,000.
"The sound of a hammer," says
Franklin, "at five in the morning, or at .
night, heard by a creditor, makes him
easy six months longer, but if he sees
you at a billiard table, or hears your
voice at a tavern, when you should be
at work, he will send for his money the
next day."
A gentleman was chiding his son ibr
staying out late at night—or rather early of next morning—and said: " Why
when I was of your age, my father would
not allow me to go out ofthe house after
dark I" " Then you had a deuce of a
father—you had," sneered the young
profligate. Whereupon the father very
rashly vociferated: " I had a confounded sight better one than you have, you
young rascal!"
The Detroit Tribune says the celebrated fool-killer, for whose coming the
world has waited so patiently and so
long, has come and gone busily to work.
His name is Kero C. Noyle.
A young man told Dr. Bethune that
he had enlisted in the army of Zion.
" In which church ?" asked the doctor.
" la the Babtist," was the reply. " I
should call that joining the navy," was
the docter's response.
What word is that composed of five
letters from which if you take two one
remains ?   Stone.
To one who asked pecuniary assistance
of a crusty capitalist the remark was
made : " Heaven helps those who help
themselves." Said the would-be borrower sourly: " That reminds me of a
fell I got when I was a boy, which obtained this offer of aid from a bystander:
'Come here, sonny, and I'll pick you
up,'"
Why are bankrupts more to be pitied
than idiots? Because bankrupts are
broken/whUe idiots are only cracked.
The following from an English comio
paper is clearly not a case or "cut and
come again." In purports to be the
plaint of an " Old Bald-paten Gentle-
man .*"
My hair and I are quits, d'ye see)}
I first cat him—he now cuts me.
Said a near sighted Congressman to
Tilton, "What would you do, Mr. Tilton,
if you could not distinguish your friends
in in the gallery ?" Said Tilton to near
sighted Congressman: " Why sir, I
wauld try to distinguish myself on the
floor 1"
A good brother in one of the rural
districts thought he had a call to preach.
Being an indifferent reader, he got a
friend to read the scripture. The chapter on one occasion was Genesis xxn,
which contains this verse: " These
eight did Milcah bear to Nahor, Abraham's brother." On this the preacher
held forth as follows: " Brethern and
sisters, let us consider our blessings.
Morning and evening our wives and
daughters milk our cows and thus supply our wants. But in the days of good
old Abraham, as you have just heard, it
took eight to milk a bear, and they did
not get much at that."
Always suspect a man who affects
great softness of manner,.an unruffled
evenness of temper, and an enunciation
studied, slow and deliberate. These
things are all unnatural and bespeak a
degree of mental diciphn© into which
he that has no purpose of oraft or design
to answer, cannot submit to drill him-
\sett: The most successful knaves are
usually of this description, as smooth as
razors dipped in oil, and as sharp.
They effect the innocence of the dove,
which they have not, in order to „hkle
the cunxung of the serpent which they
have.—Lacon,
I
I
m\